Weekend with Jeremy

After an invigorating acting class on Friday, I went back to the apartment to wait for Jeremy to arrive for the weekend. It was really great to see him! He travels a lot for work, so being apart for a couple weeks at a time is nothing new for us...still, I had missed him.

(More about the acting class later...I am hoping to write more about it after today's class.)

On Friday night, Jeremy and I took the subway to Coney Island. We ate hot dogs at Nathan's, rode the Cyclone, wandered around, and sat on the beach to watch the Friday night fireworks. We even took a few pictures of the display, since our camera has a special "fireworks" setting. How crazy is that?



On Saturday, we had lunch at one of my new favorite pizza places and dinner at one of my new favorite Mexican restaurants. We headed to the Esper Studio in the afternoon, because my acting partner wanted to get the chance to meet him in between his Saturday classes. That evening, we went to the movie theater to see Sex and the City. He had not had a chance to see the movie yet. While he will freely admit to watching and enjoying the show on HBO during his pre girlfriend/wife days, the idea of going to see that movie alone in a Cleveland theater while I was out of town was a little out of his comfort zone. I had seen the film once before. I cried even more the second time around...not just for the emotional impact, but also for the gorgeous blue satin Manolo Blahnik pumps! Heartbreaking!

Sunday was a lazy day. We wandered around Little Italy and then went to visit Central Park, before he needed to make his way to the airport. I took him to the Central Park Reservoir, so he could see my favorite place to jog/take a walk.

Now, Jeremy is back home with Cosmo & Harley. Hopefully, Harley didn't punish him too much for going away and not bringing me back home with him.

A Better Day

Yesterday was a much better day. I got a good night's sleep. Classes went well. I didn't have to do any laundry. :)

After classes, I went for a walk around the Central Park Reservoir and cleared my head. While I was walking, I whispered a couple prayers, listened to my favorite music and just soaked in the beauty of the water, the park, the city skyline all around me. Flowers were blooming at the entrance to the reservoir at 90th St and 5th Ave, and I breathed in their scent. It made me smile. All was well with the world, and I was in love with the city again.

As I was walking, I started to think about our friends Roger and Deb. Roger and Jeremy used to work together, and he and Deb are two of the most incredible, life-loving and hospitable people I have ever met. Dinner parties at Roger and Deb's house are evenings spent among true friends, eating the most amazing food you've ever had in your life! Last fall, Roger suffered a stroke. He is making incredible strides, but obviously recovery is slow and steady. He's not 100% back to his old self. The two of them are really kind of cute about the whole thing. When Jeremy and I visit with them, Deb will talk about Roger's recovery and physical therapy, all the milestones he is reaching. She is very positive. The glass isn't just half full, it is overflowing! She will say that Roger can walk XYZ distance on his own or that he is typing and sending his own emails, etc. Roger will sit there and shake his head or say "no" and really kind of play down his progress.

One night after leaving their home, Jeremy and I were talking. He said he wondered who was being the most accurate about Roger's progress. I ventured to say that the answer was probably somewhere in the middle.

In Voice & Speech class yesterday. We had to get up in front of the class one at a time, say our name and speak a few sentences. The rest of the class listened with their eyes closed. After each student was finished, the rest of the class talked about what they heard...the quality if the voice, what adjectives came to mind, how old or young did that person sound, etc. When I had finished in front of the class, I was amazed at the feedback I heard. It was very positive, which was nice. What amazed me was the class said things about my voice that I never would have thought of myself. (It's so true that we never see or hear ourselves quite the same as other people see and hear us.)

One student said she thought my voice had really great range. That kind of tickled and perplexed me at the same time. I don't think of my speaking voice as having a particularly great range. The first day of Voice & Speech class, we had to list our goals or the areas we most wanted to work on. Increasing my range was #1 on my list...my biggest vocal criticism of myself. So, how did this person listen to my voice and hear really great range? Have I been selling myself short? Perhaps a little. Do I still have a lot of work to do? Absolutely. Increased vocal range is still my #1 goal with this class. I still may not think of myself as having "great" range, but maybe my starting point isn't as bad as I thought it was. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle.

A Breakthrough and a Breakdown

I experienced both in the last 36 hours or so...a lot sooner than I had expected either of them to happen.

As far as a breakthrough, I had an incredible experience in Movement class yesterday, which surprised me. I thought I was going to have a harder time surrendering to that experience. Not that I was skeptical about the validity or purpose of movement training as an actor...I just knew that was the one area where I was going to feel the most tied up, afraid to be free and open. Without going into too much detail (because it would take forever), we basically did a simple exercise in groups of two that dealt with making simple physical contact with another person. Not complicated. No dialogue. No expectations or objectives. No characters, relationships or imaginary circumstances to create. Just basic human contact in a few moments of silence. After the exercise was over, we were supposed to talk to our class partner about what we experienced. As my partner and I chatted, we were blown away about how much we were able to tune in during that exercise and each get from the other person, without even saying a word! It was rather profound.

Now for the breakdown. It was bound to happen at one point. I knew I would come up against a moment when I felt like the city was trying to break me. I'm an emotional girl, and New York can be tough...so I was fully expecting to experience a bit of a meltdown at some point during my six weeks here. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

I was in the laundromat next door to the apartment this morning, and I was attempting to get my clothes out of the dryer. The dryer door kept shutting against my head, so I finally pushed it open a little wider than I had been. The door sort of overlapped a dryer next to me, and I didn't see the man trying to use that particular dryer. He went off on me! I could barely even apologize and say I didn't see him there, before he was screaming at me that there were other people in the laundromat besides me. At that point, I wanted to simply ignore him, get my clothes and get out of there. He kept ranting at me. He began to talk about my people owing his people reparations, and that one day they would conquer us all. We'd all be slaughtered and our dead bodies would pile up in the streets until the smell was so bad...I'm not making this up. This man was very angry, and somehow my dryer door overlapping in front of his dryer door made me the symbol of oppression in his eyes. He wanted me to know that me and my kind were going to get our comeuppance someday.

I don't remember too much of what he said after that. I was shaken, embarrassed; other people in the laundromat were staring. I shoved my clothes into the laundry bag as fast as I could. I didn't even care that some of them were still wet. I ran out the door, into my cousin's apartment building and up the stairs to the 4th floor. As soon as I got in the apartment, the tears came. I dropped my laundry bag in a chair and collapsed on the floor. I laid flat on the hardwood floor, not softly crying a tear or two, but sobbing uncontrollably. My cousin was at a pilates class, so she didn't witness this...which is a good thing. I didn't really want anyone to see me that way. In that moment, I felt so defeated. I felt like such a stupid girl from the Midwest, thinking I could survive in New York City. I missed Jeremy. I missed Harley and Cosmo. I wanted my own bed, Cleveland Indians games, my friends, my favorite wine bar back home. I felt totally alone.

I recovered. I'm not ready to give up and come home early. On the contrary. I'm a little more determined. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and again, I kind of expected to experience a moment or two like this. I guess I just didn't expect it to happen so soon and in quite the way that it did. I could use a few words of encouragement, and extra friendly face or two, a good night's sleep, a big slice of cheesecake...

Overheard in the City

The past couple days have provided multiple opportunities to hear and witness some incredibly amusing conversations/exchanges. Here are a few of the highlights...

Conversation #1 - Last night, my cousin and I went to Bryant Park for the HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival. (They were showing Bride of Frankenstein.) At one point, I went to use the restroom. While waiting in the line for the ladies' room, there were two young women in line in front of me. I got the impression that they knew each other well, but had not seen each other in a while. They were catching up, chatting about graduate school, job prospects, living situations, a recent breakup, etc. They seemed like very smart, put together women, save for one tiny detail...their frequent use of the word "like." I'm not talking just 1-2 grammatically incorrect, modern slang uses of the word. It was incessant! If I had $1.00 for every time they used the word "like" before we made it to the bathroom stalls, I'd be on my way to the nearest shoe store as we speak!

Conversation #2 - While riding the subway home from the film festival, my cousin and I witnessed an adorable exchange between a young man and woman on the train, I'm guessing in their late teens/early 20s. The young woman spoke Spanish, and the young man's knowledge of the language was limited. However, he was making a valiant effort to sweep this girl off her feet. He stumbled through what little Spanish he knew and was aided by a friend of his, as well as the young woman's subway companion. I don't really know much Spanish, but it was obvious he was making a few mistakes, as their friends were laughing and the young girl giggled and blushed. Finally, he switched back to his native English and declared with gusto...

"I like long walks on the beach and Kool-Aid, and the occasional book...Goosebumps, A Cinderella Story..."

There wasn't a person near us on the train that wasn't sucked into the conversation at this point. It was quite funny and pretty darn adorable. Shortly after the Kool-Aid and Goosebumps reference, my cousin and I reached our subway stop. So, we never did find out if the young man scored a date.

Conversation #3 - Early Sunday evening, I was walking from the apartment to the Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine to attend an evensong service (an incredibly gorgeous service, but that's another story.) As I was heading west on 110th St., I was walking behind a young couple in the midst of a spirited, but friendly, argument about the lyrics to the Journey song, Don't Stop Believin'. The young man believed the lyric to be "streetlights, people", while the young woman insisted it was "streetlight people." Their conversation went something like this... (Imagine them half speaking/half singing the lyrics as they argue.)

Man: I'm telling you, it's "streetlights, people."

Woman: You're wrong. It's "streetlight people."

Man: You're crazy. That doesn't make any sense. What the hell are streetlight people anyway?

It made me giggle. I had to google the lyrics the next day. I was curious. Apparently, this isn't such an unusual debate. I visited a number of song lyric database websites and found both versions. So, I listened to the song on my iPod. (Yes, I do have some Journey on my iPod.) It really isn't 100% clear. I can see how different ears might hear it different ways. I think I have to side with the young woman. I think Steve Perry is singing "streetlight people." However, the question still remains...what the hell are streetlight people anyway?

My First Week is Over

Whew! It has been a crazy week. Not crazy in a bad way, just kind of "head spinny" and overwhelming. Between the first week of classes, still trying to get settled into my cousin's apartment (ordering an air mattress, shopping for a desk, figuring out where to buy groceries in my neighborhood, doing laundry etc.), and just plain old getting the "lay of the land", it has been a week full of adventure! I'm tuckered out. It's good though. I feel a lot more settled going into week two.

This past week.....

I took a couple dance classes at Broadway Dance Center. I took a basic tap class and a beginner jazz class. Both classes were a lot of fun. The jazz class was especially exhilarating. The instructor was incredible, and the class was quite a workout. (I haven't been in a dance class in more than 10 years. I'm a little rusty.) By the end of the jazz class, I was starting to feel almost like a dancer (and I stress the words starting and almost.) I'll get much better though. I'm determined to keep at it! Tap was also fun, but a little bit more overwhelming. It was hard to make my brain and my feet work that fast at the same time. Again, I just have to keep at it.

Acting class is amazing. I adore Suzanne! She is an incredible teacher. My acting partner is a young man from Holland. He is incredibly sweet, and we have a very good and open connection. Most of my class is great. There is really a lot of raw talent and potential in our group. We're having fun.

Voice & Speech is transformative, even after only two classes. I'll have to go into more detail later. One thing that my voice instructor said this week that really struck me (and this has nothing to do with technique, it was just an interesting observation that she made) is that New Yorkers sometimes use their voice to create space. I had never thought about it before, but in such a crowded place, people really can use other mechanisms to create a sort of space for themselves.

Movement will be my biggest challenge. I like the class and the instructor, and I think it will be very helpful for me. I just know myself. That class will be the hardest one in which to really let myself go and get out of my self-conscious head. More on that later as well.

So, what else is new? Nothing and a whole lot at the same time. Is that possible? I miss my husband, but we talk nearly every day, which is nice. I REALLY miss Cosmo and Harley (our dog and cat.) As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry...I can't chat with them on the phone or keep in touch the same way I can with the significant human beings in my life. Yet, our pets are kind of like our children...so it is killing me to be away from them.

Overall, life in the city is good. I hope week two finds me a little more centered and a little less blindly trying to make my way in the world.

Thank God the Indians have been winning in LA! That series in Colorado this week was downright dreadful!

My First Classes & Well Wishes from Home

I made it through the first day of all my classes! Yesterday, I had Acting with Suzanne Esper. She is amazing, completely vibrant and full of life! She has a very nurturing quality, but firm at the same time. She seems like she will give us all the room explore, grow, and even fail if we need to...but she won't except anything less than us giving our best effort. I'm going to love studying with her!

Today, I had Voice and Speech and Movement. Voice and Speech was also really great, and I think I will like Movement more as the summer progresses. I was a little too in my head and self-conscious today. Once I am able to let that go and free myself up, I think I will get a lot more out of it.

Last night, I had an email from my sister-in-law. She was checking in to see how my first day of class went. She also wanted to send me pictures of the outfit that my niece was wearing yesterday. Eden is 5 months old. Isn't she just too adorable? Jeremy and I picked out the NY onesie for her on a trip to the city earlier this year. Notice what the bib says in the first picture!

Father's Day in New York

Well, I called my dad on the phone today. This will be the first year in a long time that I did not see my dad in person on Father's Day (or at least very close to Father's Day.) I miss him. Hope he had a good day. He told me a little bit about his car troubles, what's been happening with the waitresses at his local watering hole...the Bob Evans across from his apartment, and then we commiserated about the Indians for a bit. We both would have liked to see Cliff Lee get his 11th win yesterday.

Later on, my cousin and I ventured downtown for the Egg Roll and Egg Cream Festival. A portion of Eldridge was blocked off. There was entertainment on the street and the aforementioned egg rolls and egg creams. (I liked the egg roll, but I could have done without the egg cream. Mine had a certain Milk of Magnesia quality to it.) On our way down the street toward the festivities, we passed a school that had left a large amount of garbage on the sidewalk...text books, old desks, workbooks, etc. My cousin noticed many old-school, pull-down wall maps and diagrams, and she had to go through them. She giggled with delight as she chose three of them to bring back and hang up in the apartment. One was a map of Africa. One was a map of the United States. The last of her finds was a full diagram of the digestive system. We about lost it with laughter! We hung it up in the kitchen this evening.

The highlight of my day (aside from chatting with my dad) was seeing a man on the subway wearing an Ohio State football tee shirt with a picture of the obligatory Coach Jim Tressel sweater vest. The tee shirt read "Fear the Vest." I couldn't resist. I let out an "O-H!" He replied "I-O" and threw in a "Go Bucks!" I LOVED IT! I then told him that my husband was a Buckeye, and I attended Youngstown State University during Coach Tressel's winning tenure there. He agreed that Tressel was the man. That made my day. It didn't top my Saturday by any means, but it made me feel at home away from home.

Enjoy the pictures of my cousin and others digging through the school trash on the sidewalk and the photo of her hanging the digestive tract in our kitchen. We think it will help us stick to our diets. :)

I Met Robert Cuccioli!

Oh my God! I still can't believe it actually happened. I finally got the chance to meet one of my heroes, almost 13 years after first seeing him perform in the pre-Broadway tour of Jekyll & Hyde. (1995. I was in college, and my friends and I were able to catch the show in both Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Wow, has it really been that long ago?) I remember being completely enthralled, and I was a fan instantly. The voice, the stage presence, the total immersion in the role. He has this real truthful and human quality to his acting, and yet it's larger than life at the same time. He can fill a room and make you take notice, and something about it seems effortless. To the audience (or at least me anyway), it never feels like he's reaching too far or trying too hard. On my best day, I don't know if I would ever have that kind of presence. (I'm dedicated and open, sing very well, and have an emotional vulnerability and quirky charm that I bring to the table...but he totally rocks my socks off!)

My only prior stage door experience was one of people pushing and shoving to catch a glimpse of Kevin Spacey after a matinee of The Iceman Cometh in 1999. While the performance was breathtaking and well worth the $100 ticket price, the experience out on the street left me feeling empty. That really isn't the kind of fan that I am or the type of encounter I would want. I could care less about an autograph or a picture. I would really rather have a moment to shake someone's hand and tell them how much I appreciate their work. With the artists whose work I most admire, what I'd REALLY love is the chance to sit down and have a cup of coffee with them, hear their stories and pick their brain about how and why it is that they do what they do, but I realize that's dreaming big. (i.e., Robert Cuccioli, Sarah McLachlan, Maya Angelou, Ryan Adams, Audrey Hepburn...okay, so I know that one is never going to happen.)

I've also never really been a fan club person before. Well, there's always the Kiss Army, but that is an all together different phenomenon. However, I decided to join the Robert Cuccioli Fan Club late last year, because his work has had a profound influence on me, and because he seems to genuinely appreciate the support of his fans. Joining the fan club led to me corresponding with the fan club president, Gay Dupre, from time to time...which leads me to the good part of this story.

My cousin and I took the train from Penn Station to Madison, NJ yesterday to see Amadeus at The Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey, in which Mr. Cuccioli was starring as Salieri. In emailing with Gay Dupre, we discovered that we were both going to be attending the same performance. She approached me and my cousin during intermission, and we chatted for a bit. She told me that she didn't think Bob was going to come out between the matinee and evening performance that day, but that if we were ever at the same performance of a future production, she'd try to make sure I had a chance to meet him. I felt deflated, but as I watched the second act, I decided that after 13 years, I'd regret it for a really long time if I didn't take the chance and put myself out there. So, after the curtain call, I approached Gay. With my knees and hands shaking, I asked her if she wouldn't mind asking him if he would come out just for a moment or two. If he said "no", I would totally understand and respect that, but I couldn't leave that theater without at least asking.

So, I went downstairs with Gay and her husband. I waited in the hallway by the restrooms and a coat rack, while they went back stage. The longer I waited, the more optimistic I became. If he wasn't going to come out, Gay's husband, Alan, would have come out right away to tell me that, right? Finally, the backstage door opened, and there was Robert Cuccioli! He, Gay, and Alan came out into the hallway, and I had the opportunity to talk to him for a few minutes. I won't even go into all the things we chatted about, because that could be another long blog entry on it's own. (The next time you see me, just ask me about it.) I will say that it was a great experience for me. He was very gracious and down-to-earth and charming. He seemed genuinely humbled and appreciative when I told him how much his work inspires me. I will also share that I did tell him he was on my "Bucket List."

Those of you who know me well have heard about my Bucket List. There are the easy goals on my list, like visiting Graceland. There are the completely silly and dorky goals, like running up the Philadelphia museum steps like Rocky or running in the Sugardale Hot Dog Derby at a Cleveland Indians game. (I want to be Onion. She carries a purse.) Then, there are the big four.

4. I want to have a conversation with Maya Angelou. (During some of my lowest moments, the poem "Phenomenal Woman" has lifted me up.)

3. I want to sing with Sarah McLachlan. (Like Maya Angelou, her music has seen me through some difficult times...and her concerts are almost like religious experiences for me.)

2. More than any other actor or actress out there, I want to work with Robert Cuccioli. (See above.)

1. I want to kiss John Cusack! I have to experience it...just once before I meet my demise.

You know, on my train ride home yesterday, I pondered whether or not Robert Cuccioli might bump John Cusack out of the #1 crush spot. I thought about it for a minute. Jekyll & Hyde or Say Anything...Phantom, Jacques Brel, Guys & Dolls or Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity..."This is the Moment" or "She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen." John is still #1 as far as weak-in-the-knees celebrity crushes go, but I do adore Bob. I'd still rather work with him than anyone else on the planet, and I'd love to have that cup of coffee with him and pick his brain. (I know, I know...but where's the fun in life if you can't dream?)

I didn't have a camera to capture the moment yesterday. (See above.) However, I feel this story really deserves an image. So, I am going to leave you with a picture of one of my favorite Cleveland Indians, Victor Martinez. This face pretty much sums up how I felt when I left the theater yesterday. I think Victor has the best celebratory facial expressions in baseball! (I'm sad to see him on the disabled list and I wish him a speedy recovery. I want to see him play again when I come home from New York.) Enjoy!

I have arrived in NYC

After my very first Amtrak experience, I am finally in New York City for my summer adventure. The train ride was pretty cool. I had breakfast and lunch in the dining car and met some really interesting people. It's a very social atmosphere on a long-distance train trip, much different from a plane ride or a commuter train. My seat mate was a student from Russia who lives in NYC, and he was fun to chat with. I slept a good bit too. I had taken some Dramamine so I could read and use my laptop without getting motion sickness...but mostly it just made me very drowsy (as Dramamine does.)

I got into Penn Station around 8:00 last night, and my cousin met me. We schlepped my luggage on the subway to her apartment on 3rd Ave. Then, we went for a yummy Mexican dinner and margaritas. After that, I was ready to crash.

Today, I started unpacking my clothes, and I went grocery shopping. Now, I am sitting in my cousin's apartment waiting for a UPS package. (Exciting way to start my time in the Big Apple huh?) As I was walking back from my grocery shopping, I passed a little deli near the apartment. The front door was open, and there was a little kitty sitting in the doorway, watching people walk by. He/She (I didn't stop to check) was so adorable, and it made me miss my cat Harley something fierce. Wish I could have brought him with me. And yes...I am going to miss my husband very much as well, but at least he and I can talk on the phone or email. Aside from the obvious fact that Harley cannot use a cell phone or computer, he would probably only take the time to chat with me when it suited him. Cats!

Where can a girl watch an Indians game in New York?

That is the question of the day. If I don't find a solution, it is going to be a long six weeks. Most of the games are broadcast on a cable channel called STO (Sports Time Ohio), obviously not a channel that can be accessed from my cousin's Manhattan apartment. I could pay MLB.com a somewhat crazy sum of money to watch the games on my laptop, but where's the fun in that? My cousin's roomate assured me there had to be someplace in New York where I could go to watch the games...some bar owned by a former Clevelander or whatnot. She says you can find just about anything in New York. I'm inclined to think that is probably true. Jeremy and I have a friend who works for the Cleveland Indians, and he was supposed to be asking around the organization to find out if there was a Cleveland fan-friendly place to go. However, I have not heard back from him. I'm sure it has been a busy spring for him. All Jacob's Field references at the ballpark had to be replaced with new Progressive Field logos, etc. before the all-star break this year, and it is pretty much our friend's responsibility to make that happen. (Don't even get me started...it will always be "The Jake" to me!) Perhaps I just need to bug him again before I leave for the Big Apple. I'd much rather watch a couple ball games in a bar, around other people, eating greasy food and wearing my Indians gear than all alone on my little Dell laptop. Not the most exciting way to cheer on my favorites...Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez & Casey Blake.

At any rate, the Indians beat the Texas Rangers last night 13-9. It was a nice change, compared to how they have been playing lately (offensively anyway.) Casey Blake was on FIRE last night! Seven RBIs in three at bats...two of them 2-run homers! It was a thing of beauty!

Crocs and the City

So, the very first time I saw Crocs in the store, in all their splendor and variety of colors, I thought to myself, "What cute gardening shoes!" When I saw people actually wearing them out and about, I thought, "Wait a minute." Now, I'm not one to judge. Live and let live. They're obviously comfortable shoes, practical, and the multitude of colors allow for individuality, expression, etc. However, being the shoe lover (and admitted girly girl) that I am, I swore there would never be a place in my shoe closet for a pair of Crocs. Then...I saw a pair that caught my eye. I was in Macy's, and there they were. Little silver Crocs in a different style than the ever-popular clog. They were more like a cross between a ballet flat and a slingback. Round toe. Smaller, fitted to the foot, less bulky silhouette. They were (dare I say it) very cute! I tried them on, and I was sold. (Well, not immediately. They didn't have the silver color in my size, so I had to go home and order them online.) A cute AND comfortable shoe is going to come in handy in the coming weeks.

Which brings me to my next topic. I am heading off to New York City for six weeks this summer. I have not been in an acting class since college. I've attended some workshops here and there. I've studied voice-over technique, the art of cabaret, but I have not been in an intense, risk-taking, dig in and get dirty acting class for a while. I decided it was time for a challenge. So, I am taking part in the six-week summer intensive at the William Esper Studio. I will be in classes 5 days a week, acting, movement, voice & speech. I am also looking to take some dance classes while I am in the city. (Might as well make the most of my summer in the Big Apple!) I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. It will be an experience...and an adventure...and it will be nice to schlep around Manhattan in my new comfy (and adorable) Crocs. Who knew?

BTW...lest those of you who know me well start to worry. I will also be taking one or two pairs of my less practical, but incredibly fabulous shoes!