The other day, I took a ride on the Staten Island Ferry. I wanted to take a few pictures of the Statue of Liberty and the man-made waterfall exhibit that is going on in the city. It was nice to be out on the water for a little while. It was a beautiful day, maybe a little hazy, but pleasant overall. There was a nice breeze off the water.
Earlier in the week, I had the chance to watch a little bit of the All-Star Game on television. (The American league still RULES!) Cliff Lee was the starting pitcher for the AL, so that was a treat to watch. I also got to see Grady Sizemore get in on the action. However, I didn't make it through all 15 innings. I went to bed before it was over.
I've been feeling a little homesick this past week. I miss Jeremy. I miss Harley and Cosmo. I miss Indians games, my friends and our church. I miss the vegetarian pasta bake at the Diner on Clifton near our house. (I'm not a sworn vegetarian. I just think that dish is yummy.) As much as I love New York, and still dream of living and working here...for the moment, Cleveland is still home.
The other night, I was talking to someone about my feeling a bit homesick, and they made the comment that it was good that I found that out, since I had been considering making the move here. That really bothered me. It came across as if my missing my home, husband and pets meant that this person didn't think I was "cut out" for New York. I imagine my emotional response and interpretation of that statement was perhaps a little more harsh than the person truly intended it to be, but still it ate away at me for a little while. Wishing I had Jeremy and the animals with me and wanting my own place with my own things around (and some crazy satellite TV channel set-up so I can watch the Cleveland Indians) doesn't make me not cut out for New York...it just makes me human.
To make matters worse, when I got on the subway to go back to the apartment that night, there was a young man riding the 2 train with a very blunt tee shirt. You know the famous "I Love New York" logo with a heart in place of the word love? Well, this tee shirt basically said "New York Doesn't Love You" with the obligatory heart underneath the also famous circle with a slash through it (or the "Ghostbusters" symbol, as I like to call it.) I'm sure under other circumstances, I would have laughed about that tee shirt. In that moment, it stung a little bit.
New York is still a dream of mine, so in the end, I am undaunted by my homesickness. It will still be nice to be back in Cleveland with my family and friends after six weeks away, and I have work lined up when I get home. I am playing Kathy in a production of Company that begins rehearsing in early August. It is my first Sondheim, and am really excited about it. Also, once I am home, Jeremy and I can start to talk about New York as part of our future and work together to decide when the time is right and how to make it happen.
There is a quote from a book by E.B. White called This is New York, which incidentally I want to get a copy and read. I have seen this quote displayed in the subways on a number of occasions this summer, and I have found it to be inspirational. The quote reads...
"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. […] Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion."
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