I Gotta Be Me

I had an audition yesterday that went really well, at least from my perspective anyway.  I feel really good about how I did.  Will it result in work?  That's out of my hands.  All I can do is move forward and get ready for the next audition.  Still, it's nice to leave an audition feeling like it was a good experience and that I did the best I could.  One particular positive about yesterday's audition experience was the lesson I learned about trusting my gut and being true to who I know myself to be as an artist...owning the strengths that I bring to the table as well as recognizing my weaknesses (and knowing the right time and place to work on those weaknesses).

The audition was a combined audition event and I had two minutes on stage to perform for multiple auditors, and I had made the decision to both sing and perform a monologue.  I chose my song and monologue and in the process of polishing, tweaking, cutting and timing them, the idea was born to take a different approach with my song than I had ever taken before.  I won't go into detail about how or why that idea came into being, who suggested it, why I attempted to follow that advice.  None of those things are as important as the fact that for about a week and a half, I spent time and energy trying to force something that really wasn't working for me.  The idea to change the tone of my song was valid intellectually and might have even worked in a different audition setting (for a specific show, character, etc.)  However, this being a general, combined audition event, my gut was telling me to go in there and show them ME...rather than try to walk in a pair of shoes that don't quite fit me yet.

So, I abandoned the advice and made the decision to stick with the original interpretation of my audition song, and I had a blast!  I discovered more joy in the song than I ever had before.

As actors (and human beings), we are who we are.  Every character we create comes from somewhere deep inside ourselves, even the ones who differ greatly from us in our "real" lives.  Range is an awesome thing and it's important to stretch ourselves and take risks as artists...it's the only way we really grow.  Yet, there are also times when the best thing to do it simply put ourselves out there exactly as we are and say, 'Hello world (and auditors).  This is me!"  For me, yesterday's combined audition was one of those times.  No matter what the outcome may be, even if I don't book a single job from it, I can feel good about the woman who showed up and sang her little heart out and performed a monologue that resonated deeply with her sense of truth.