Nothing Short of Extraordinary

Big Shoes to Fill

2011-04-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

So, we were just assigned a new set of scenes in acting class...what I assume will be our last set of scenes for the year. We are doing classical/style work right now, and Suzanne assigned me Lady Bracknell from The Importance of Being Earnest. WOW! When she first announced the scene assignments in class, I was kind of speechless. Then, I felt both excited and honored that she thought me up to the challenge of tackling such an iconic character. THEN, a little bit of intimidation set in. I mean, Lady Bracknell...that's a tall order!

Slight intimidation notwithstanding, I am diving in head first. Hopefully, I can do this great lady justice and have a little fun in the process. Bring it on!

I Gotta Be Me

2011-04-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

I had an audition yesterday that went really well, at least from my perspective anyway. I feel really good about how I did. Will it result in work? That's out of my hands. All I can do is move forward and get ready for the next audition. Still, it's nice to leave an audition feeling like it was a good experience and that I did the best I could. One particular positive about yesterday's audition experience was the lesson I learned about trusting my gut and being true to who I know myself to be as an artist...owning the strengths that I bring to the table as well as recognizing my weaknesses (and knowing the right time and place to work on those weaknesses).

The audition was a combined audition event and I had two minutes on stage to perform for multiple auditors, and I had made the decision to both sing and perform a monologue. I chose my song and monologue and in the process of polishing, tweaking, cutting and timing them, the idea was born to take a different approach with my song than I had ever taken before. I won't go into detail about how or why that idea came into being, who suggested it, why I attempted to follow that advice. None of those things are as important as the fact that for about a week and a half, I spent time and energy trying to force something that really wasn't working for me. The idea to change the tone of my song was valid intellectually and might have even worked in a different audition setting (for a specific show, character, etc.) However, this being a general, combined audition event, my gut was telling me to go in there and show them ME...rather than try to walk in a pair of shoes that don't quite fit me yet.

So, I abandoned the advice and made the decision to stick with the original interpretation of my audition song, and I had a blast! I discovered more joy in the song than I ever had before.

As actors (and human beings), we are who we are. Every character we create comes from somewhere deep inside ourselves, even the ones who differ greatly from us in our "real" lives. Range is an awesome thing and it's important to stretch ourselves and take risks as artists...it's the only way we really grow. Yet, there are also times when the best thing to do it simply put ourselves out there exactly as we are and say, 'Hello world (and auditors). This is me!" For me, yesterday's combined audition was one of those times. No matter what the outcome may be, even if I don't book a single job from it, I can feel good about the woman who showed up and sang her little heart out and performed a monologue that resonated deeply with her sense of truth.

Tomorrow is Opening Day!

2011-03-31T20:34:00.000-07:00

...for Cleveland Indians baseball, that is.

As much as I love living in New York, I can't help but feel just a little bit sad that I won't be in downtown Cleveland for the Tribe's home opener. It's times like these I wish that Star Trek technology really existed. If it did, I could "beam" myself to Cleveland just long enough to enjoy the pre-game festivities at the ballpark, watch the game and then "beam myself back home to the Big Apple. Of course, sometime around the 4th or 5th inning I would be cursing the cold and clinging to my third cup of hot chocolate. A ballgame in Cleveland in early April is much more of a winter experience than a spring one.

Okay, so there is not always snow on the field, but it is quite often ridiculously cold. Still, I love my hometown team and would love to be there tomorrow. Instead, I will be watching the game in my Harlem apartment...gotta love MLBTV and Roku!

Go Tribe!

BTW, the photo is from Opening Day 2007. That was some CRAZY winter weather for a baseball game!

Think Bigger!

2011-03-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

The question I am pondering most this week...what would I do if I knew I couldn't fail? I am making this my mantra as I continue to push myself and work hard on my craft. It's time to stop clinging to the idea of being safe, of following all the rules. Rules can be good and some of them exist for a reason, but some rules were made to be broken. It's time to let go of the idea that I have to be perfect before I put myself out there. It's time to take some risks.

It's time to simply be proud of the things I accomplished in Cleveland and stop worrying about the things I didn't accomplish before making the big move...and it's time to just get out there and conquer New York!

Pretty sure this describes me...

2011-03-21T14:39:00.000-07:00

The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create -- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off...They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating. - Pearl Buck

This quote is currently posted on the bulletin board in the Esper Studio lobby, and Suzanne read it to our class shortly before spring break.

Yep. This pretty much sums it up perfectly.

Conquering My Fears: A Work in Progress

2011-01-14T14:52:00.000-08:00

"Julia Child was the opposite of the mid-western, mid-American, mid-century, middlebrow food I grew up on. She was also the antithesis of the women I saw cooking, all of whom had serious June Lockhart aspirations. Julia, on the other hand, turned imperfection into a hoot and a holler. She seemed to teach cooking, but she was really celebrating the human, with all its flaws and appetites. I was a goner the first time I heard her voice, which happened to be while I was a cook in a feminist restaurant that nerved nonviolent cuisine. If it weren't for Julia Child, I might never have moved past brown rice and tofu. Worse, I might still be afraid of being less than perfect. Cooking through Mastering the Art of French Cooking, I learned how to cook without fear because I got over fearing failure. Julia Child gave an entire generation this gift - and dinner too." - Molly O'Neill

I read this quote in the 40th Anniversary edition of Julia Child's iconic cookbook, which I received this year as a Christmas gift. It immediately reminded me of another quote I have encountered, this one from Martha Graham...

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

Sometimes, fear of failure can really start to gnaw away at me and tempt me to give up. I'll say to myself, "I'm too old, too fat, too shy while others around me are aggressive about going after what they want." or "I'm not built like a model and don't have Hollywood good looks, so what's the point?" or "How will I ever get my Equity card, and without it, where do I even begin to get my foot in the door?" And I worry WAY too much about what others think. I agonize over the fact that some of my relatives probably don't get me and that some of them may not approve of this life I have chosen (or more accurately, this life that has chosen me). I worry and wonder if some family/in laws/friends might even resent me for leaving Ohio and taking Jeremy with me to pursue this dream. I'm afraid of always being the "black sheep" or an outcast.

ARRGGHHHH! It's enough to drive a person crazy!

Sometimes, I need to take a deep breath and tell the negative voice in my head to "Shut the fuck up!" I need to drown out the self-criticism, replace it with more positive thoughts. That's not always so easy to do, but quotes like the ones above inspire me to keep trying.

Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl Tonight!

2011-01-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

Having been born and raised in Northeast Ohio, I can tell you firsthand how HEARTBREAKING it often is to be a Cleveland sports fan. The Drive, The Fumble, Game 7 of the 1997 World Series and most recently...The Decision. (I won't go any further into that.)

However, being an Ohio State football fan is much less painful. Sure, there are bitter disappointments from time to time, but it's not hopeless. There are bright spots. We beat Michigan most of the time (in recent years anyway), and coach Jim Tressel simply rocks! He's a stand-up guy, a great coach and a class act all the way.

So, tonight I hope to celebrate an Ohio State Sugar Bowl victory! Go Bucks!!!!

That's all for now. I'm off to secure a spot at the bar to watch the game.

Goals for 2011

2011-01-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

It seems like "resolutions" has become such a dirty word. With each new year, lots of us make them but few of us keep them. So, instead of resolutions, I am simply setting some goals for 2011. Here they are:

- Audition, network, Tweet more regularly, get out there, talk myself up (in a non-obnoxious way)...in other words, stop being afraid to "pimp" myself.

- Perform my cabaret, SOLE MATES, in NYC.

- See more theatre.

- Expand my cooking repertoire.

- Run a 10K.

- Get my professional website up and running.

- Refine and edit my wardrobe, so that whether it's an audition, night out, church or just running errands, I'm not tearing my hair out over what to wear.

- Keep up with this blog.

That's about it for now. We'll see how it all goes in the coming year!

Tomorrow is the Big Night!

2010-03-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting in Starbucks on Euclid Ave. right across from PlayhouseSquare and I'm enjoying an ICED latte. Yay for warmer weather! There's been an eclectic mix of music in here since I sat down. Most of it is stuff I've never heard before but some of it I quite like...you know, the typical, really great indie music you hear at Starbucks. Plus, there was a little Talking Heads thrown in, which brought back childhood memories of MTV.

Tonight is the last tech rehearsal before opening night of my cabaret! I'm feeling a lot of things. Excited, confident, hopeful, nervous, stressed, like I could almost pee my pants! All at the same time! It still feels a little bit unreal to me. I'm debuting my very own solo cabaret in Cleveland, in my old hometown among family and friends, at the second largest performing arts complex outside of Lincoln Center!

I remember when I was about to step onstage at Carnegie Hall to sing with my church choir two years ago. I said to myself, "You may never have this opportunity again. So, don't be nervous. Just go out there and sing like you belong here!" I'm hoping to accomplish the same thing tomorrow night. On a smaller stage in an intimate cabaret venue, as Lora likes to say, "in the basement of PlayhouseSquare." Still, at PlayhouseSquare nonetheless, and performing my own show...something that started out as just an idea and grew into this tremendous opportunity for me. Tomorrow, I'm hoping to just sing like I belong here.

First Tech

2010-03-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

Well, my first tech rehearsal for Sole Mates is behind me! We rehearsed in Kennedy's last night with lighting, sound and the band. I even rehearsed in costume but no makeup.

I can now breathe a big sigh of relief! It went very well! I felt a little rough or awkward in a couple places, mostly in a physical way. (Should I sit or stand at this point? What do I do with my hands? Am I too still? Too animated? That kind of thing...) It took me a little while to get my bearings in the actual space. However, musically I felt very good about it. My singing felt effortless. (Thanks Sally!!!!) I wasn't freaked out by hearing myself in the monitor. The band gave the music a new energy, which in turn pumped up my energy level. There were a couple minor places where we stopped to fix things, but overall YAY! I really feel that the show will be ready for its big debut this Friday!

Now I just have to figure out how to perfect my hair and makeup!

Load In

2010-03-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, we had load in at Kennedy's to prepare for tech rehearsals and performances of Cleveland Cabaret Project's "Cabaret Sampler With Heart & Sole" featuring Lora Workman and Paul Hoffman's tribute to Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme, "This Could Be the Heart of Something" and my cabaret, "Sole Mates."

Sound equipment was brought in. Lights were hung. Dressing room was cleaned. I hot glued the lids shut on a bunch of shoe boxes. Exciting stuff! Here are a couple photos...

The stage in Kennedy's.

We have a disco ball!

The Story Behind My Cabaret

2010-03-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

Since the plan is to write a lot about my cabaret experience over the next couple weeks, I figured I better provide a little bit of backround information.

In the spring of 2008, I signed up for an 8-week workshop called "Cabaret 101" at PlayhouseSquare in Cleveland. I had always been curious about the art of cabaret and I love to sing, so I figured why not?! The workshop was taught by Lora Workman, a cabaret performer and member of PlayhouseSquare's Education and Outreach staff, and Charles Eversole, musician and Artistic Director of Cleveland's Singing Angels, and the eight weeks culminated in a performance showcase, in which each participant performed his/her own 15-minute set. Long story short, it was an amazing experience for me! I found that I really loved cabaret and felt right at home in that setting.

While working on my 15-minute set for class, I was inspired with the idea to expand my love of shoes into a full 50 minute solo cabaret. When I mentioned this to Lora toward the end of the workshop, her response was, "You have to do that!" Of course, other things were on the horizon for me at that moment, namely my summer at the Esper Studio which would lead to the eventual move to New York. So, I put the shoe cabaret on the back burner for a little while and focused on other things.

It was approximately one year ago that I started seriously working on developing my solo cabaret. I began to develop a script, think about what songs I wanted to sing, bounced ideas off of famliy and friends, had a few happy hour brainstorming sessions with Lora. Last summer, I got together with Charles (or Chuck as he is known among friends) and we bagan to work on music. My script went through a couple incarnations. Songs changed over time. I got my friend and fellow actor Doug Kusak on board to add his brilliance to a couple of comic bits in the show. The move to New York happened. I travelled back and forth for a couple weekend rehearsals and worked in the city with my voice teacher, Sally, and my friend and accompanist, Caitlin, to keep the music work moving forward.

And now...in less than 1 week, "Sole Mates" will make its debut in Kennedy's Cabaret at PlayhouseSquare! All I can say is, WOW! I can't believe the moment is almost here. The time went by so fast!

Tomorrow starts tech week. More details and photos to follow. Stay tuned!

Less Than Two Weeks Away...

2010-03-08T18:00:00.000-08:00

YIKES!

My cabaret is opening in less than two weeks! I'm kind of freaking out about this. I'm not so much freaking out about the performance part. I have the usual bit of nervousness, but for the most part I feel good about the show itself. I have been working really hard on this project for about a year...the script, the music. My performance will come together just fine.

I'm freaking out about the business part of it. I have never self-produced a show in my entire life! There's a LOT that goes into it. I knew that going in but had no idea how much it would stress me out. Granted, I am not doing it alone. My friend Lora is co-producing, as we are both performing our sets each night as a cabaret sampler. She has done this before, many times, Thank God! Her expertise has been invaluable, and I am truly learning every step of the way.

Still, I am freaking out a little bit. Will enough people actually come to see this thing?! We pretty much have to fill Kennedy's every night to make back our investment. And it's not just about breaking even. I WANT people to see my show! I keep having nightmares about walking onstage to an empty house!

Okay, deep breath. Hopefully, it will all turn out okay.

Making Some Changes

2010-03-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

Time to get back in gear and spend some updating this thing! I've been neglecting it more than I had intended to. I've also been busy adjusting to life in a new city and the intensity of my studies. What can you do?!? Anyway, certain life and career events have been inspiring me to get my blogging groove back!

I'm playing around with different layout templates, colors, backgrounds, etc. I want to add some new photos and features. Stay tuned. It's a work in progress.

I am also going to be writing a lot about my cabaret experience in the next couple weeks. I am debuting my first one-woman cabaret, Sole Mates, in a little less than 3 weeks. The work has taken me on an amazing journey so far. So far, the journey has been kind of like a cross-country drive. As crunch time is here, the journey is starting to feel more like a roller coaster ride at Cedar Point!

More on that later...

That's Just Wrong!

2009-11-21T07:15:00.000-08:00

Jeremy was walking along 110th street near Park Ave. the other day, and he saw a man wearing a Cleveland Indians jacket. He asked the man, "Indians fan?" The man replied, "No. I just like the jacket. I'm a Yankees fan."

WHAT?!?!?!

If it had been me, I would have told the guy, "Sorry sir. You're going to have to hand over that jacket."

Speaking of the Indians, I am excited to see Sandy Alomar Jr. return to Cleveland. I must make it a point to get back there in the summer to see some games.

And speaking of Ohio sports...Ohio State vs Michigan today. Go Bucks!

I've Been Newly Inspired!

2009-11-12T18:22:00.000-08:00

My mom is here for the week, her first trip to New York City since she and I visited the city with my aunt when I was a teenager. So far, we've taken her for some New York pizza, shown her Grand Central Station, Times Square, the UN, you know...usual touristy stuff. During my acting class this morning, she explored midtown Manhattan armed only with her camera and a couple maps. She witnessed the raising of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, and one of the workers lifting and anchoring it in place gave her a piece of branch from the tree! (No joke!)

Since my mother has never seen a Broadway show, we decided to catch a matinee yesterday. Lots of shows on Broadway hold what is called a ticket lottery outside the box office before each show. Patrons show up 90 minutes to 2 hours before curtain and write their names on an index card. Box office staff will then place all the index cards into a hat or drum and draw out several at random. If your name is drawn, you can purchase up to 2 tickets at a deeply discounted price.

Anyway, of all the available Wednesday matinee ticket lotteries, Wicked was mom's top pick. Wicked being a VERY popular show, I worried that the number of lottery participants would greatly reduce our chances of getting picked. Still, we showed up at the box office at 11:30 a.m. and both put our names in the drum. There were probably at least 100 people there, not very good odds. Still, wouldn't you know it, they drew my name! We were able to buy 2 front row tickets for $26.25 each! (Regular price orchestra tickets were going for around $110.)

I must admit...I did not have a huge desire to see Wicked. The show had been so hot for so long, and nearly every musical theater friend I know RAVED about it. Teenage girls obsessed over it. At nearly every recital I participated in as a voice student of my brother-in-law, one of his other students was singing a song from it. I sometimes have a tendancy to shy away from the latest big thing that everybody else loves. (I did not start reading Harry Potter until the last book had been published, if that tells you anything.)

So imagine my surprise. I loved it! It was clever. It was fun and engaging, humorous and touching. The sets and effects were incredibly impressive. The music was great. Most of all, I was blown away by the vocal talent. The actresses playing Glinda and Elphaba were both amazing singers...technical prowess, beautiful tone color, precision and freedom of expression all at once. I can't even think of any more words to describe it. Wow!

The whole experience was inspiring. I had been feeling a little lost lately. Not doubting my dream or second guessing my ability...just feeling a little out of place among my classmates on a social level. I'm the oldest student in class (as far as I know), the only one married and just in a different place in my non-acting life than the rest of my classmates. Don't get me wrong, my classmates are all very nice. I had just been feeling like I don't fit in.

Wicked lifted me up. It reminded me why I am really here. I'm not here to make 20 new best friends. (Again, not a personal attack on my wonderful and talented classmates.) I'm here to grow as an artist. I'm here to go after the dream. I'm here to do this for myself, to feel like I am accomplishing something, getting one step closer to contributing to my and Jeremy's livelihood by doing something I love, feeling happier with myself, which can only make me a better wife, daughter and friend to the ones I alreday have and cherish. After telling myself that and finally believeing it, I went to class this morning and for the first time actually did feel like I belonged, like I had a place in the group.

So, thanks Wicked! Thanks for giving me a little kick in the ass. I needed that.

Now...I need to find a NY voice teacher and get back to work! I have a new dream role!

We keep encountering people from Ohio!

2009-10-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

New York City truly is a melting pot if ever there was one...people of every race, culture, walk of life, all inhabiting this crazy, bustling city. In my acting class alone, there are students from Texas, Kentucky, Virginia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, France, England, Denmark, etc...and one "born and bred" New Yorker. I love being surrounded by so much diversity. It's one of the things that makes the city so vibrant and alive, and it's something that I thrive on. However, I can't help but giggle over what a small world we really live in, as evidenced by the number of people Jeremy and I have encountered here who are originally from Ohio.

For starters, there is another young woman in my acting class who is from Ohio, Cincinnati to be exact. We met a man at a church we've been visiting who is from Beaver Creek, OH, which is where all 3 of Jeremy's college roommates are from. (We haven't had a chance to ask him if he knows any Knuths, Hamiltons or Schwartzs.) Our neighbors upstairs, well the wife anyway, is from the Youngstown area. She talks about wanting to make a trip back home to visit Austintown...the same Youngstown suburb where my moms live!

Then, there are all the other Cleveland natives. We have one neighbor in our building who is from Shaker Heights and spent some time living in Lakewood. Jeremy met a fellow Cleveland transplant while watching a Browns game in an upper west side bar. Last week, we wandered into a wine shop in our neighborhood and struck up a conversation with the young man working there. Turns out he is from Cleveland Heights and knows our favorite wine bar back home. In fact, Bill Esper (the founder of the studio where I am studying and the husband of my acting teacher Suzanne) is originally from Cleveland.

What is it about this city that draws so many people from Ohio? Or, what is it about Ohio that make so many people want to move to New York? :)

I'm not knocking Ohio, Cleveland especially. While New York has always been my dream, I will always consider Cleveland my hometown. I miss it sometimes. So, running into other former "Buckeyes" is comforting. It makes me feel all the more certain that right now New York is home.

One last thing...Jeremy and I saw a man wearing a Cleveland Indians sweatshirt in Central Park this afternoon. (sigh) There's always next year!

Pink Pedicures, Public Arguments and Whitney Houston

2009-09-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

After a week in Ohio for Labor Day visits with family and cabaret work, I am back in the city. I arrived on Friday night, and it has been a busy few days...or at least interesting, if not packed with activity.

I ran Race for the Cure NYC on Sunday morning. The race was in Central Park and it was HUGE! The official numbers say a little over 25,000 people officially participated, but between family, friends and supporters there had to be a lot more than that gathered in the park. It was inspirational and overwhelming at the same time. The run in the park was beautiful, and it gave me a chance to clear my head and be thankful for all the blessings in my life...not the least of which is my clean diagnosis from my own breast biopsy earlier this year. I beat my time from lasat year's race in Cleveland by about a minute. I might have been even faster, but with so many people, I had to dodge a fair amount of walking. At any rate, I was pleased with the outcome.

To treat myself after the race, I went and got a pedicure on Monday...a pink pedicure. It was heaven! In general, I'm not a frequent "spa treatment" kind of gal. I'm particular about who I let cut and style my hair. A massage once in a blue moon, maybe. I'm just not one to jump at a weekend spa retreat with the works...unless someone else is footing the bill. :) Still, pedicures are something I like to treat myself to regularly, if I can. Sure, I have a little foot spa at home and I can do them myself (and I do, don't get me wrong). However, professionals are always so much better at it than I am, particularly when it comes to applying the nail polish. So, now I have perfectly filed and painted pink toenails.

In the several days that I have been back from Ohio, I have noticed quite a number of private arguments unfolding rather publicly right before my eyes. In my first three days home, I witnessed just as many quarrels. I couldn't tell you what all of them were about. The only one I remember distinctly was the most recent. A couple on the subway was arguing about whether or not they should have spent money on the the 32-inch LCD television that was now sitting at their feet. As their heated debate went on, I sat across from them trying to remain in my own world, not pay too much attention. It got me thinking. In this city, you can have complete anonymity and a complete lack of privacy all at the same time. Why not have it out right there on the subway? In a city of over 8 million people, where are you going to go to be alone? Even if you scream and yell in the "privacy" of your own apartment, at the very least the neighbors are probably going to hear you. Yet, at the same time, it's New York City. Nobody cares! Everyone else on that subway got off at their appropriate stop and went about their business, most likely never to see that arguing couple again.

Speaking of the neighbors hearing things...yesterday Jeremy and I were working in our spare bedroom office, and we overheard someone in an adjacent building singing Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You" at the top of their lungs...a capella. (They may have actually had the recording on in their apartment, but we certainly didn't hear it.) I'm talking belt-your-face-off singing at the top of their lungs, and not very well. It was like listening to an Americal Idol audition, only without Simon there to put a stop to it. We had to giggle. It was the funniest thing we heard all day. We have no idea who it was, and we haven't heard her singing since. That's New York!

This time, I promise to be better at updating...

2009-08-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

Well, we made the move. Jeremy and I are in New York City! I was able to complete most of the things on my Cleveland "to do" list before we left, but not all. I'm sure we'll be back from time to time, so I will still have a chance to cross those items off.

A few people back home have asked me if I intend to keep my blog updated after the move. I actually never even meant to fall off the wagon in the first place, but life got really full and busy when I came home from New York last fall and it really never let up. The blog faded into the background. I was in Ohio, surrounded by friends and family. I guess subconsciously I figured why write about my life now? A lot of the people who read my blog are close by, experiencing it with me.

Anyway, I do enjoy writing, and since a lot of family and friends are further away again, I promise to keep the blog going this time.

What's new? We moved. Living in New York City has been a dream of mine for...well, practically forever. I can't tell you how excited I am to be finally doing it. I still have to pinch myself every so often and remind myself it's really true. I live in New York! There's no getting on a plane or a train in a few weeks and going back to a home someplace else. It's thrilling and still a little bit unreal.

Moving, on the other hand...not fun. Packing. Figuring out what to downsize. Living on an air mattress for an unspecified amount of time. Living out of boxes and suitcases for an unspecified amount of time. Unpacking. Figuring out where to put everything in a MUCH smaller residence that the one we left. UGH! I'll spare you all the gory details.

It took about a week and a half, but we are pretty much settled in to our new apartment. Most of the boxes are unpacked and gone. It looks and feels like a home. Harley and Cosmo have adjusted well. In fact, Harley has (so far) not retaliated and left us a "gift" outside his litter box even once! We're shocked, to say the least. Cosmo has discovered the joy (his, not ours) of sniffing out anything and everything edible that has been discarded on the street and eating it himself. And Jeremy and I are learning that as far as storage goes, vertical space is valuable space.

Pictures to come soon...as well as more blog entries. I promise!

Back to New York...a "to do" list

2009-02-19T15:53:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2009. It seems like my summer in New York just ended yesterday, but now Jeremy and I need to start thinking seriously about getting ourselves back to the city.

The plan is for both of us to move this summer, so I can go back to the Esper Studio full-time in the fall. Luckily, Jer works from home, so a move is not all that unreasonable...provided we can rent our house here in Cleveland. (That's a worry for a whole different blog entry.) Aside from getting the house on the rental market, we're starting to research NYC neighborhoods, getting a head start on downsizing our stuff, ponder and prioritize the multitude of family/friend's weddings, football games and other big events we've been invited to here in Ohio between August and October...whew! It's a lot to undertake!

However, what's really on my mind right now is saying goodbye to Cleveland. I've lived here for 10 years, and so much has happened to me during that time. I met my husband, made some amazing friends, attended a lot of baseball games, finally made the decision to stop running from my dream and pursue it fully. Cleveland has been good to me, and I will always consider it my hometown.

Yet, there are so many "Cleveland" things I've been meaning to do and haven't done yet...and just as many Cleveland experiences that I have cherished and want to keep appreciating while we're still here.

Things to do before we leave:
* Neither Jeremy nor I have been to Lakeview Cemetary...Garfield Monument, Rockefeller Monument, Wade Chapel and (so we've been told) some of the best views of the city. We really should make it a point to visit.
* I've lived here for 10 years and have never been to Parade the Circle. Shame on me!
* I've never been to Whiskey Island. In fact, as much as I am embarrased to admit, I'm not even quite sure where it is. I know it's on the lake, west side, Edgewater Park vicinity. I live near there, drive past there often, but can't see it/can't quite figure out where it's supposed to be.
* I've yet to have Mamma Santa's pizza in Little Italy. In my defense, I lived most of my 10 years in Cleveland as a west-sider, and west-siders know the best pizza to be had in Cleveland is Angelo's!
* Speaking of Little Italy, I've never eaten at La Dolce Vita on a Monday night with the live opera music. That sounds like such fun!
* I've never eaten at Pier W to enjoy the fresh seafood and beautiful view of the city.
* I've never made it to polka happy hour at the Happy Dog. Although, the last time I talked to my friend Doug about it, he said it does not happen as often as it used to.

Things I will miss most about Cleveland:
* Indians games!!!!!
* La Cave du Vin (or affectionately referred to as simply, the wine bar.) Jer and I consider this "our place." When he and I first started dating, his roommate tended bar there. We're friends with the bar manager and have befriended several bartenders there over the last several years. We love the atmosphere there. It's the place where everyone knows our name...and our taste in wine, Belgian beer and really yummy cheese!
* The West Side Market
* The Diner on Clifton...especially the vegetarian pasta bake with goat cheese!
* Flower Child, the best vintage store ever! In my 6 weeks in NYC last summer, I did not find a single vintage store that I loved as much as I love this place. Flower Child has EVERYTHING! From deco to 1980's...great clothes, furniture, decor, jewelry, kitsch, toys...you could get lost in there for hours!
* Westlake United Methodist Church...especially our friends in the choir!

Of course, we'll miss family and friends as well, too numerous to mention. However, we're hoping that since we'll be living someplace as exciting as the Big Apple, many of them will want to come visit us!

New Headshots

2008-11-24T11:33:00.000-08:00

I don't have much to say today...just thought I'd post a couple of my new headshots. I had them taken a few weeks ago, and I am very happy with them. This one is my favorite!

I also like this one a lot.

Then, there is the business suit look...as requested by my agent.

There are a bunch more...the photographer took over 200 shots. So far, I am going with the one on top, the horizontal shot, for my theatre auditions. I was immediately drawn to it more than any other. I am waiting for feedback from my agents regarding their choice for my "commercial shot."

I suppose I should keep up with this blogging thing...

2008-10-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

When I came home from New York in August, my blog kind of got sidetracked...catching up with family and friends, jumping into rehearsals and more auditions, projects around the house...you know how it goes. Anyway, I have actually had a couple people mention that they keep checking my blog to see if I have written anything new. I guess I didn't figure anyone would be interested in hearing what I had to say once I was back home from the Big Apple and seeing folks face to face on a regular basis. At the same time, I do love to write...so I guess as long as I have an interested audience, I'll keep it up.

What have I been up to since coming back to Cleveland? Loads and loads! My first couple months back home have been filled with incredibly rewarding and inspiring experiences. (More on all that later.)

What is on my mind today? Music.

Jeremy and I went to see The Old 97s in concert at the Beachland Ballroom on Friday night. (Great show!) It was the first real concert I had attended since last fall, when Jeremy and I saw Ryan Adams. (Another great show!) For me, the main attraction to The Old 97s is their lead singer, Rhett Miller. He is a very charismatic frontman and a great alt-country/rock singer and songwriter. He actually has two solo albums, and while I do like the band, I think I enjoy his solo stuff a bit more. It's more ecclectic and packs a bit more of an emotional punch. If you've never checked out Rhett Miller's music, do it NOW! (Okay, you can wait until you're done reading my blog. His solo records are The Instigator and The Believer.) If you like what you hear, The Old 97s are worth a listen as well. At any rate, it was a fun concert, good crowd, high energy. I kind of giggled when the band first took the stage, as I discovered that Rhett Miller and I were sporting almost the exact same hairdo...his bangs were a little longer.

On the way home from the concert, I commented to Jeremy that the bassist, Murray Hammond, reminded me of the nerdy guy from R.E.M. No sooner did I have the sentence out of my mouth, when Jeremy said he was thinking the exact same thing. What can I say, we think alike. I think that is one of the reasons I married him. However, it did take us both a couple moments to come up with the nerdy guy's name. "Let's see, there's Michael Stipe, of course...Peter Buck...Bill Berry is the drummer who left the band... Oh! Mike Mills! That's his name!"

Farewell, New York

2008-07-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

So, the last day of acting class was just as wonderful and sad as I thought it would be. There were only a couple scenes that Suzanne still felt needed that last little bit of work, so those scene partners performed one more time. Then, we simply spent the rest of the class in discussion. After it was over, cameras emerged from purses and backpacks, and everyone scrambled to take photos of each other as a remembrance. Above, is a photo of me with Aiman...my first acting partner. Below, is a photo of Jackson, my second and final acting partner for the summer.

Jeremy had been in the city since this past Thursday, so we had an enjoyable weekend hanging out in the city. We went to the little Cuban restaurant across the street from my cousin's apartment. They have live music there every night, and it was quite lively and fun...so we went there a couple times over the weekend. We saw part of a Johnny Cash tribute concert that was awful, not because of the musicians, but because of the terrible acoustics of the venue. We saw George Wendt from Cheers fame in Hairspray. (Norm!) We walked the Brooklyn Bridge, ate at a yummy Bosnian restaurant near the Esper Studio, had a fancy steakhouse dinner. It was wonderful to reconnect.

On Monday, we went to a storytelling slam with my cousin. One of my Cleveland friends had emailed me about this organization called The Moth. Twice a month, they have what is called the Moth StorySLAM. People gather at a bar, and you can either sign up to tell a story or sign up to be a judge. They choose judges names from out of a hat, and then they choose ten people to tell their stories from out of a hat. All the stories have to fit the evening's theme. (On Monday, it was "Triangles.") Each story can be no longer than 5 minutes. It has to be true, and the storyteller cannot use any notes. After each contestant tells their story, the judges give the story a score. There is a winner at the end of the night, and evidently there is some sort of a GrandSLAM final event each year. It was quite an experience! We had a blast. Incidentally, neither me, Jeremy or my cousin told a story or served as a judge. I did not have any good stories that fit the "triangle" theme, otherwise, I would have totally thrown my name in the hat!

After the slam, Jeremy and I went to the Top of the Rock observation deck at Rockefeller Center for our last night in the city. I had done the Empire State building before, but I think the views were better from Top of the Rock. For one thing, you actually get to see the Empire State Building as part of the skyline!

On Tuesday morning, we packed up my stuff, loaded up the car and drove home to Cleveland. It was a lot easier getting out of the city by car than I thought it would be. More on being home and away from the city later...

For now, enjoy the photo from Top of the Rock and me trying to be a model (HA!) in this weird Target-sponsored, brightly lit breezeway just off the observation deck.

Last Day of Classes

2008-07-28T07:02:00.002-07:00

Today is my very last acting class as part of the William Esper Studio Summer Intensive 2008. I am a little bittersweet.

I had my exit interview with Suzanne on Friday, and that went very well. She had some very nice things to say about me and the work I have done this summer. She also said she would love to have me in her acting class as in the full two-year program. I told her that I could not start this fall. (Classes will begin again in September.) However, I told her I would be very interested in coming back and studying in the future. (More on that later...)

At any rate, I thought I'd commeorate my last day of acting class by mentioning a few of the people in my class whose work has astounded me. Everyone in my class is worth mentioning, but that would take way too long. so here are a few that have particularly stood out.

Aiman and Jackson - My acting partners. What else can I say? It has been quite a journey working with both of them. Jackson is very free and open, willing to explore. Aiman has an unbridled enthusiasm for life, and he and I developed a kind of "big sister/kid brother" rapport.

Lina - Lina is from Denmark. She is remarkable...very natural, unaffected. There is no pretense or sense of trying to "act." She just opens up and lets herself experience things. She's amazing to watch.

Shuhei - Shuhei is one of the most creative and artistic individuals in my class. Beyond right-brain...he is simply on a different level than the rest of us, as far as imagination.

Gillian - Gillian is a bit of a firecracker. You never know what is going to happen with her, as far as the classroom exercises go. She is also extremely imaginative and has a very strong "actor's faith." She not only accepts the imaginary circumstances, she owns them...comepletely embraces and immerses herself in them.

There are others, and maybe I will share more later. Right now, the apartment is kind of stuffy, and Jeremy and I are itching to get out and experience more of the city before my last class this afternoon.

Ah...why does it have to come to an end? I feel like I have barely begun to chip away at the iceburg.

Classes are Winding Down

2008-07-24T15:52:00.001-07:00

I had my very last Voice & Speech and Movement classes today. I was both happy and sad to see them come to an end. I am really going to miss Voice & Speech. I have learned a lot about breath placement, resonance, warming up the entire body for voice production. My voice has opened up so much, even in a short 6-week introduction. I plan to continue with the warm ups and diction exercises in the two workbooks we used in the class, and I am anxious to see how much this training effects my singing.

Movement had its moments as well, but it didn't totally work for me as a whole...as much as it did for some of my classmates. I had some really extraordinary experiences and one or two "lightbulb" moments, but I also had a lot of moments when I really wondered if the particular techniques we explored in class were the right fit for me as an actress. I'll have to tell some of you more about it in person, once I am back in Cleveland.

There are two acting classes left, one tomorrow and one on Monday. I will be really sad to leave that class. As I mentioned before, I think Suzanne is an extraordinary teacher. She is truly awe inspiring. She told another great story during Wednesday's class about her daughter...when she was just a toddler. Suzanne and Bill Esper had taken their children to Brooklyn to visit some friends who had a lovely home overlooking Prospect Park. It was later in the evening, and their daughter was dressed in her little one piece sleeper (you know...with the snaps all the way down one leg.) At the end of the evening, their friends put on some music. It was a recording of a famous opera soprano, but her name escapes me at the moment.

As the sound of this glorious soprano filled the halls of the Brooklyn home, the Esper's daughter perked up. She stood up and started to unsnap her sleeper. As she got down to the legs, she sat down, unsnapped the rest of the way and pulled her legs out of the sleeper. Then, Suzanne said she stood up and with one hand ripped off her Pampers diaper and tossed it away. She then proceeded to run naked up and down the hallways of their friends' house with wild abandon.

Suzanne was trying to illustrate a point about being free as actors...to not hold back, not be afraid of emotion or where it might take us, to just let it in and let it happen. I completely got her point. I don't think I will be running naked through the hallways anytime soon, but it was a great story, and I am ready to tackle the last two classes (and the rest of my acting career) with the freedom and abandon of a carefree child.

I Love Tap Class!!!

2008-07-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

So, I have been going to a tap class on Sunday mornings at Broadway Dance Center. It is a basic tap class at 9:30 in the morning, and it is taught by a woman named Shea Sullivan. Tap is a little overwhelming to me, because I have had very little exposure to it. In college, I had to take a Tap & Jazz class that really just touched on the tap part, and that was quite a while ago. (Hence, me starting at square one with the basic class...) At first, I felt like a fish out of water, but I kept at it. It has been fun. This morning's class was especially exhilarating. Things were starting to click for me, and even though I was still messing a few things up, I was having a BLAST! I will really miss it.

I have befriended a couple of the class regulars, and I told them this morning that next Sunday will be my last class, as I will be heading back to Cleveland the first of August. One lady was very sad to hear about me leaving. "But you and your husband are thinking about moving to New York, right?" I told her that the idea was on the table, but I had to go home for now, and we had to get a few ducks in a row to make the move happen. "No," she exclaimed, "Just start looking for an apartment. The rest will take care of itself." Oh, if only it were that easy! She tickled me though, and I will be sorry to leave that class...just as I was starting to catch on to tap dancing.

After tap class, I took the longer walk to Grand Central Station to get on the 6, rather than taking the 2 or 3 uptown from Times Square or taking the S from Times Square over to Grand Central. I called my dad, and we chatted during my walk. He was a little feisty about the Cleveland Indians. He was complaining about some of the decisions Indians Manager, Eric Wedge, was making of late. Long story short, Dad disagreed with Wedge's handling of Asdrubal Cabrera versus David Dellucci versus Jhonny Peralta. (I won't go into all the details.)

Overall, I like Eric Wedge. I may not agree with all of his decisions, but I think he is a good manager. Whereas, my father gets a little hot under the collar. We have an amazing season last year, followed by a not-so-good season this year, and Dad is ready to call out the lynch mob. At one point, he said that there should be a television game show called "Are You Smarter than Eric Wedge?" He said if there was such a game show, he could go on, and he would win. That made me giggle.

But, could my dad win on "Are You smarter than a 5th Grader?" I've seen that show once or twice...it's pretty tough.

What does it mean to be homesick?

2008-07-19T10:17:00.000-07:00

The other day, I took a ride on the Staten Island Ferry. I wanted to take a few pictures of the Statue of Liberty and the man-made waterfall exhibit that is going on in the city. It was nice to be out on the water for a little while. It was a beautiful day, maybe a little hazy, but pleasant overall. There was a nice breeze off the water.

Earlier in the week, I had the chance to watch a little bit of the All-Star Game on television. (The American league still RULES!) Cliff Lee was the starting pitcher for the AL, so that was a treat to watch. I also got to see Grady Sizemore get in on the action. However, I didn't make it through all 15 innings. I went to bed before it was over.

I've been feeling a little homesick this past week. I miss Jeremy. I miss Harley and Cosmo. I miss Indians games, my friends and our church. I miss the vegetarian pasta bake at the Diner on Clifton near our house. (I'm not a sworn vegetarian. I just think that dish is yummy.) As much as I love New York, and still dream of living and working here...for the moment, Cleveland is still home.

The other night, I was talking to someone about my feeling a bit homesick, and they made the comment that it was good that I found that out, since I had been considering making the move here. That really bothered me. It came across as if my missing my home, husband and pets meant that this person didn't think I was "cut out" for New York. I imagine my emotional response and interpretation of that statement was perhaps a little more harsh than the person truly intended it to be, but still it ate away at me for a little while. Wishing I had Jeremy and the animals with me and wanting my own place with my own things around (and some crazy satellite TV channel set-up so I can watch the Cleveland Indians) doesn't make me not cut out for New York...it just makes me human.

To make matters worse, when I got on the subway to go back to the apartment that night, there was a young man riding the 2 train with a very blunt tee shirt. You know the famous "I Love New York" logo with a heart in place of the word love? Well, this tee shirt basically said "New York Doesn't Love You" with the obligatory heart underneath the also famous circle with a slash through it (or the "Ghostbusters" symbol, as I like to call it.) I'm sure under other circumstances, I would have laughed about that tee shirt. In that moment, it stung a little bit.

New York is still a dream of mine, so in the end, I am undaunted by my homesickness. It will still be nice to be back in Cleveland with my family and friends after six weeks away, and I have work lined up when I get home. I am playing Kathy in a production of Company that begins rehearsing in early August. It is my first Sondheim, and am really excited about it. Also, once I am home, Jeremy and I can start to talk about New York as part of our future and work together to decide when the time is right and how to make it happen.

There is a quote from a book by E.B. White called This is New York, which incidentally I want to get a copy and read. I have seen this quote displayed in the subways on a number of occasions this summer, and I have found it to be inspirational. The quote reads...

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. […] Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion."

Nothin' but hits, Baby!

2008-07-13T19:32:00.001-07:00

So, I may not have been able to snag a ticket to the All-Star Game, but I was one of the lucky 50,000 people who got to see Bon Jovi in concert on the Great Lawn in Central Park! (Since the concert was in conjunction with All-Star Game festivities, it was the next best thing!)

In town for two upcoming shows at Madison Square Garden, Bon Jovi played a free concert in Central Park Saturday night to help celebrate the All-Star Game at Yankees Stadium this week. Free tickets were made available at both Yankees & Shea Stadium, as well as the Staten Island minor league ballpark and various other venues. There were even a number of tickets available on MLB.com. (Of course, scalpers got hold of free tickets and sold them on eBay, Craig's List, etc. as well.) My cousin's brother (who's not related to me...long story, but in this age of blended families, I'm sure you can figure it out) was in the city this weekend, and one of his friends managed to score 5 tickets to the concert. So, we went, and a good time was had by all!

Now, I am going to date myself here. I was around 13 years old when Bon Jovi topped the charts with "Livin on a Prayer" and "You Give Love a Bad Name", and I remember both of those songs being the highlight of many a 7th and 8th grade school dance. It was the mid to late 80's, and "hair bands" or "arena rock" was all the rage. When I hear other old songs from that era on the radio, I will often either laugh or shudder, depending on my mood or the particular band/song. However, I still enjoy Bon Jovi. Their music doesn't sound dated, which is not the case with some of their 80's contemporaries. Plus, Jon Bon Jovi lists Bruce Springsteen as a huge musical influence, and being a Springsteen fan myself, I can definitely hear the similarities and make that connection. However, I had never seen Bon Jovi live before, so this concert was a real treat for me.

How was the show? Wow! It was quite an experience! First of all, the sheer number of people assembled on the lawn was astounding. When we were standing in the middle of it, it was hard to get a true sense of the size. However, when I looked at the photos from the New York Times, I was blown away! See below...

Despite the massive crowd (and the fact that we were near the back and VERY far away from the stage), we could see pretty well...thanks to the multitude of giant video screens. The band sounded great, and they put on a first rate rock and roll show. 110% energy and adrenaline! Jon Bon Jovi looks great! He is better looking and seems to be in better shape now than when my friends and I idolized him in the 80's. My cousin went back and forth between swooning over him and insisting that she needs to find out who his nutritionist is. Richie Sambora, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have aged as well. (Just my personal observation and opinion.)

When asked in an earlier interview about the set list for Saturday's concert, Jon Bon Jovi answered, "Nothin' but hits, Baby!" The band made good on that promise. They opened with "Livin on a Prayer", and the hits just kept coming after that. Rather than promoting their latest album, it seems this concert was more about keeping the crowd in Central Park on their feet and singing along. I knew almost every song, and boy did I sing!

Below is a link to a photo slide show on the New York Times website, in case anyone is curious to see more. The pictures really capture the energy and experience of a night in Central Park with an iconic rock band.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/07/13/nyregion/0713-BONJOVI_index.html

A Fond Farewell...and other musings.

2008-07-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

I have a friend in Cleveland, Leslie, who is the organist at my church. Anyway, Leslie has an email list, and she sends out occasional emails commenting on life, her experiences, things she finds odd, etc. She is really incredibly witty, and has such an interesting perspective on things, that Jeremy and I (and maybe other people as well) keep telling her that she should start a blog.

Anyway, Leslie's emails are always formatted in a series of bullet points. Some of the bullet points flow from one to the other, and some of them are random thoughts. I have a number of things to comment on/add to my blog today, so I have decided to "borrow" her bullet point format...just for now. (You know Leslie, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)

* On Wednesday, Suzanne assigned our class new acting partners. My acting partner was originally a young man named Aiman. Aiman is 20 years old, from Holland, with family originally from Morocco. Aiman is very sweet, and we worked very well together.
* On the first day of acting class, Suzanne told us you never forget your first acting partner. That is definitely true. Farewell Amiman. It has been a pleasure working with you!
* My new acting partner is named Jackson. Jackson is from Chicago, and he is a software engineer. That makes me giggle, because Jeremy is a software engineer but would never be caught dead in an acting class! He prefers to experience theater as an audience member.
* In an effort to not swear so much, Aiman will often use the word "ships" and an expletive. I find this humorous, because I will often use the word "boogers" in the same context.
* For instance, if I were to spill coffee on myself or accidentally drop my cell phone, I might exclaim, "Oh boogers!" If Aiman is frustrated with an acting exercise, he will yell, "Ships!"
* I wonder if Jackson has his own curse word or if he simply curses. I guess I'll find out.
* On the subway the other evening, there was a woman reading the book, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It was hardcover, I think the same edition that I have. In fact, I brought that book to NYC with me, but have not had a chance to crack it open.
* I have read it once before, and I love that book! It is written in such a way that you are really drawn into the surroundings. You can hear the sounds, smell the smells, see the people as if they were in the room with you. I have never been to Savannah, GA, but that book makes me want to go. I love the eccentricity!
* I also rather enjoyed the movie...which is odd for me with books turned into films. Kevin Spacey is amazing to watch, and HELLO....John Cusack!
* Why is it that no matter what day of the week or what time of day it is, I always seem to just miss the 6 train? It never fails. I will be rushing down the subway steps, just as the 6 is leaving.
* Okay, so not EVERY time I try to catch the 6, but 9 times out of 10.
* You know one thing I have noticed about people in New York? Some of them can walk incredibly slow on the sidewalk, but as soon as they get to an intersection, they will dart out in front of oncoming cars...regardless of the traffic signal. This especially happens around Times Square.
* Aiman once said that New Yorkers always seem to be in a hurry, but if something is free, they will wait in line for hours. I would venture to say that is not only true in New York, but elsewhere as well.
* This morning, I ran down to the Duane Reade near the apartment. They were particularly friendly in there this morning. The security guard at the door greeted me with a smile and hello. He even opened the door for me as I was leaving. The cashier was also very pleasant...sincerely pleasant. Friendly customer service always blows me away, whether here, at home in Cleveland, anywhere.
* The one negative about my Duane Reade experience this morning...they were playing a Backstreet Boys song over the store audio system. Ick! I thought my ears were going to bleed. Now that silly song and the image of way-too-pretty, 20-something guys singing on a stage for a bunch of 13-year-olds is going to be in my head all day!

I was standing on a Broadway stage!

2008-07-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the stage was bare, and the house was empty. Nonetheless, I was standing on an actual Broadway stage!

My stepmom, Linda, has a friend, Gordon. Gordon has a friend named Jim, who is a swing for Phantom of the Opera. He understudies all the male roles, except Piangi, and covers the ensemble. Since Jim is a professional actor, and I am here working on my craft (and because both Jim and I originally hail from northeast Ohio), my stepmom and Gordon thought I should get in touch with him. As it turns out, Jim was performing the role of Firmin earlier this week. So, I got a ticket and went to see the show Tuesday evening, and Jim gave me a backstage tour after the performance. That was a very cool experience.

Let me say up front...I am not the world's biggest Andrew Lloyd Webber fan, and Phantom of the Opera is not my favorite musical by any means. However, it was really interesting to experience the show and then have a chance to get up close and personal with some of the sets, costumes, stage, etc. and find out how it all comes together. It was especially fun to see the trap door that Raoul jumps through in the second act, when he jumps off the bridge and into the lake to go save Christine. There is a large mat under the stage that he lands on, and the mat is bordered with rope lighting...so he can aim for the soft landing in the dark and fog. The staircase for the Masquerade scene is actually built to collapse or fold up like bleachers...and it hangs up in the fly space when not in use. Pretty sweet stuff.

As I stood on the stage and peered out into the empty house, it didn't fully dawn on me. I was standing in a theater. Big deal. I've done that on many occasions in my life. It was after I got home that it really sunk in. I was not standing on just any stage. For the first time in my life, I was standing on a Broadway stage! I was not performing on a Broadway stage...(yet)...but I was honest-to-God on a stage in a Broadway theater. Wow!

Thanks Jim!!!!!

Lovely 4th of July Weekend

2008-07-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

Despite a little bit of dreary, grey weather, I had a very nice holiday on Friday. I went out and about early in the day, did some shopping, actually made it to the gym. In the evening, I invited my friend Megan over, and she and I and my cousin had a cookout with the building super, who lives alone downstairs. He has a lovely deck off the back of his apartment, and we grilled some chicken, ate potato salad and veggies, drank some wine. The super is a sweet older guy, funny, has lots of stories. He is also really into theater, so he got a kick out of talking to Megan and me about our experiences at the Esper Studio, our theater experiences back home, favorite actors, etc.

Later that night, we all hopped on the subway and headed several blocks downtown to try to find a good spot to watch the fireworks over the East River. After a bit of walking (actually a little running, so as not to miss anything), we found a place and took in the display. It was dazzling! I guess to some people fireworks are fireworks, but these were special to me. There we were, the four of us huddled against a railing at the end of E 56th St. (Maybe it was 57th...I'm not sure...all the running.) It was crowded. It was raining a little bit, but everyone there was in good spirits, like we were all one big happy family. As I watched the fireworks explode and spill color and light over the river, I felt New York City tugging at my heartstrings. (So, what else is new, right?) I wished Jeremy was there with me. I felt like I really belonged. I heard a voice whisper inside my head that this is where I am supposed to be...no matter how big and intimidating the city can be sometimes, no matter how nervous I am about leaving the Cleveland theater community and trying to tackle a much bigger animal, no matter that some friends and relatives don't understand or approve. Someone and something bigger than me is calling me here.

It may not be easy to get us here. There are a lot of things that Jeremy and I will have to figure out, a lot of "ducks" for us to get in a row. We've talked about it, and as long as we support each other and make decisions as a team...that's all that matters. If NYC is where we're meant to be, all those other things will find a way to take care of themselves.

The rest of the weekend was nice as well...busy. I went to a tap class. My cousin and I went to see an Off Off Broadway play that was interesting. In an effort to be positive, I am going to keep my comments to myself. I will share something that my cousin said. After having seen Amadeus in NJ with me several weeks ago (which she loved) and then seeing the show we saw this past weekend, she said she feels like she has experinced the full spectrum.

Inspiration Comes from Many Sources

2008-07-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

Okay. Let me just get this out of the way now. I bought new shoes! Earlier in the week, I had gone to the DSW at Union Square/14th St. DSW is a favorite haunt back home in Cleveland, so I had to check out the NYC version. Besides, I had a $10 rewards certificate that was nearing expiration. Nothing was exciting me, so I left empty handed (or should I say empty footed?) Despite my footwear obsession, I was not going to lay down hard-earned cash unless a pair of shoes filled me with downright giddy delight...$10 certificate or not.

Then, it happened. Yesterday, I was walking along 7th Ave with my acting partner, heading toward the studio on 37th St. We passed a shoe store, and I saw them in the window! The most adorable shoes I had seen in a long time were staring back at me. It was love at first sight. I literally squealed...just ask my acting partner. After class today, I went to try them on. It was like Cinderella and the glass slipper. They fit like a dream. The price was right. Sold! When I got to the counter, I was surprised to learn that they were even on sale! It was simply meant to be. My first NYC shoe purchase. Here they are!

On Monday, I was uplifted by not one, but two cards arriving in the mail. One was from Jeremy's Aunt JoAnne, just saying hello and letting me know she has been enjoying my blog. The other was from my in-laws, Janet & Steve. The front of that card has a picture of a woman wearing two different bright-colored, flowered flip-flops. It says..."Life is too short to be ordinary." Inside was a little magnet that can either go on the fridge or stand up on a flat surface. It reads..."If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it." I chose to stand the magnet up on my little computer desk in the apartment. It gives me extra motivation.

Acting class has been quite extraordinary. In the past week or so, myself and the majority of my classmates have experienced true "light bulb" moments...some from successes, some from failures, but all pretty intense. I've always been a very emotional being, definitely more of a feeler than a thinker. However, it has been astonishing how much this class, as well as the work I've been doing with my acting partner, has really opened me up even more to acting from my gut, going with my impulses, putting my focus on the other person and just "letting them happen to me." Not only do I feel it happening in myself, I can see it happening to other students in the class. It's quite a journey we are taking together.

It would be long and tedious for me to try to explain in detail the work and exercises we have been doing in class. (It would be more like a novel than a blog entry.) Maybe I can explain more when I get the chance to see some of you face to face. In the meantime, if anyone is really curious, I would suggest reading the book Sanford Meisner On Acting by Sanford Meisner and Dennis Longwell. It is the Meisner acting technique that is taught at the William Esper Studio, and Bill Esper studied with Sanford Meisner. The book follows one of Meisner's acting classes for 15 months and is written in sort of a "transcript" style, so you get a real feel for what went on in the classes (and what I'm experiencing here) and read actual interactions between Meisner and his students. It is not an excessively long book, and it is a very easy and engaging read. I think some of you might find it very interesting, and I think it's worth reading, even for those folks who don't pursue acting. Check it out!

One thing I will share from acting class, is a story that Suzanne Esper (my teacher) shared with us today. She was talking to us about the importance of taking risks, and she shared a story about a teenage girl who came to New York one summer to study dance at Martha Graham's studio. The teenagers would have their summer classes, and after class, they would all have to leave so that the dancers in Martha Graham's company could have class in the studio. One day, the girl decided to stay behind and hide out somewhere, so she could watch the dancers come into the studio. She did this, and no one saw her or said anything. So, the next day she was a little more courageous. She hung around and peeked in the door while Graham conducted the class. No one saw her or said anything. The next day, she managed to stick around and hide out behind the piano, watching Graham and her dance company from inside the studio. Feeling even bolder the next day, she stood in the back of the class to watch. At one point during the class, Graham had each of the dancers perform a combination across the floor, one by one. Each dancer moved across the floor, until they were all on one end of the studio...exposing this teenage girl who had snuck in to watch. Having been discovered, the girl proceeded to move across the floor, performing the dance combination as best she could. After she finished, Martha Graham walked over to her and said, "Live every moment of your life like that." Wow!

Weekend with Jeremy

2008-06-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

After an invigorating acting class on Friday, I went back to the apartment to wait for Jeremy to arrive for the weekend. It was really great to see him! He travels a lot for work, so being apart for a couple weeks at a time is nothing new for us...still, I had missed him.

(More about the acting class later...I am hoping to write more about it after today's class.)

On Friday night, Jeremy and I took the subway to Coney Island. We ate hot dogs at Nathan's, rode the Cyclone, wandered around, and sat on the beach to watch the Friday night fireworks. We even took a few pictures of the display, since our camera has a special "fireworks" setting. How crazy is that?

On Saturday, we had lunch at one of my new favorite pizza places and dinner at one of my new favorite Mexican restaurants. We headed to the Esper Studio in the afternoon, because my acting partner wanted to get the chance to meet him in between his Saturday classes. That evening, we went to the movie theater to see Sex and the City. He had not had a chance to see the movie yet. While he will freely admit to watching and enjoying the show on HBO during his pre girlfriend/wife days, the idea of going to see that movie alone in a Cleveland theater while I was out of town was a little out of his comfort zone. I had seen the film once before. I cried even more the second time around...not just for the emotional impact, but also for the gorgeous blue satin Manolo Blahnik pumps! Heartbreaking!

Sunday was a lazy day. We wandered around Little Italy and then went to visit Central Park, before he needed to make his way to the airport. I took him to the Central Park Reservoir, so he could see my favorite place to jog/take a walk.

Now, Jeremy is back home with Cosmo & Harley. Hopefully, Harley didn't punish him too much for going away and not bringing me back home with him.

A Better Day

2008-06-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a much better day. I got a good night's sleep. Classes went well. I didn't have to do any laundry. :)

After classes, I went for a walk around the Central Park Reservoir and cleared my head. While I was walking, I whispered a couple prayers, listened to my favorite music and just soaked in the beauty of the water, the park, the city skyline all around me. Flowers were blooming at the entrance to the reservoir at 90th St and 5th Ave, and I breathed in their scent. It made me smile. All was well with the world, and I was in love with the city again.

As I was walking, I started to think about our friends Roger and Deb. Roger and Jeremy used to work together, and he and Deb are two of the most incredible, life-loving and hospitable people I have ever met. Dinner parties at Roger and Deb's house are evenings spent among true friends, eating the most amazing food you've ever had in your life! Last fall, Roger suffered a stroke. He is making incredible strides, but obviously recovery is slow and steady. He's not 100% back to his old self. The two of them are really kind of cute about the whole thing. When Jeremy and I visit with them, Deb will talk about Roger's recovery and physical therapy, all the milestones he is reaching. She is very positive. The glass isn't just half full, it is overflowing! She will say that Roger can walk XYZ distance on his own or that he is typing and sending his own emails, etc. Roger will sit there and shake his head or say "no" and really kind of play down his progress.

One night after leaving their home, Jeremy and I were talking. He said he wondered who was being the most accurate about Roger's progress. I ventured to say that the answer was probably somewhere in the middle.

In Voice & Speech class yesterday. We had to get up in front of the class one at a time, say our name and speak a few sentences. The rest of the class listened with their eyes closed. After each student was finished, the rest of the class talked about what they heard...the quality if the voice, what adjectives came to mind, how old or young did that person sound, etc. When I had finished in front of the class, I was amazed at the feedback I heard. It was very positive, which was nice. What amazed me was the class said things about my voice that I never would have thought of myself. (It's so true that we never see or hear ourselves quite the same as other people see and hear us.)

One student said she thought my voice had really great range. That kind of tickled and perplexed me at the same time. I don't think of my speaking voice as having a particularly great range. The first day of Voice & Speech class, we had to list our goals or the areas we most wanted to work on. Increasing my range was #1 on my list...my biggest vocal criticism of myself. So, how did this person listen to my voice and hear really great range? Have I been selling myself short? Perhaps a little. Do I still have a lot of work to do? Absolutely. Increased vocal range is still my #1 goal with this class. I still may not think of myself as having "great" range, but maybe my starting point isn't as bad as I thought it was. Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle.

A Breakthrough and a Breakdown

2008-06-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

I experienced both in the last 36 hours or so...a lot sooner than I had expected either of them to happen.

As far as a breakthrough, I had an incredible experience in Movement class yesterday, which surprised me. I thought I was going to have a harder time surrendering to that experience. Not that I was skeptical about the validity or purpose of movement training as an actor...I just knew that was the one area where I was going to feel the most tied up, afraid to be free and open. Without going into too much detail (because it would take forever), we basically did a simple exercise in groups of two that dealt with making simple physical contact with another person. Not complicated. No dialogue. No expectations or objectives. No characters, relationships or imaginary circumstances to create. Just basic human contact in a few moments of silence. After the exercise was over, we were supposed to talk to our class partner about what we experienced. As my partner and I chatted, we were blown away about how much we were able to tune in during that exercise and each get from the other person, without even saying a word! It was rather profound.

Now for the breakdown. It was bound to happen at one point. I knew I would come up against a moment when I felt like the city was trying to break me. I'm an emotional girl, and New York can be tough...so I was fully expecting to experience a bit of a meltdown at some point during my six weeks here. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

I was in the laundromat next door to the apartment this morning, and I was attempting to get my clothes out of the dryer. The dryer door kept shutting against my head, so I finally pushed it open a little wider than I had been. The door sort of overlapped a dryer next to me, and I didn't see the man trying to use that particular dryer. He went off on me! I could barely even apologize and say I didn't see him there, before he was screaming at me that there were other people in the laundromat besides me. At that point, I wanted to simply ignore him, get my clothes and get out of there. He kept ranting at me. He began to talk about my people owing his people reparations, and that one day they would conquer us all. We'd all be slaughtered and our dead bodies would pile up in the streets until the smell was so bad...I'm not making this up. This man was very angry, and somehow my dryer door overlapping in front of his dryer door made me the symbol of oppression in his eyes. He wanted me to know that me and my kind were going to get our comeuppance someday.

I don't remember too much of what he said after that. I was shaken, embarrassed; other people in the laundromat were staring. I shoved my clothes into the laundry bag as fast as I could. I didn't even care that some of them were still wet. I ran out the door, into my cousin's apartment building and up the stairs to the 4th floor. As soon as I got in the apartment, the tears came. I dropped my laundry bag in a chair and collapsed on the floor. I laid flat on the hardwood floor, not softly crying a tear or two, but sobbing uncontrollably. My cousin was at a pilates class, so she didn't witness this...which is a good thing. I didn't really want anyone to see me that way. In that moment, I felt so defeated. I felt like such a stupid girl from the Midwest, thinking I could survive in New York City. I missed Jeremy. I missed Harley and Cosmo. I wanted my own bed, Cleveland Indians games, my friends, my favorite wine bar back home. I felt totally alone.

I recovered. I'm not ready to give up and come home early. On the contrary. I'm a little more determined. Tomorrow is a brand new day, and again, I kind of expected to experience a moment or two like this. I guess I just didn't expect it to happen so soon and in quite the way that it did. I could use a few words of encouragement, and extra friendly face or two, a good night's sleep, a big slice of cheesecake...

Overheard in the City

2008-06-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

The past couple days have provided multiple opportunities to hear and witness some incredibly amusing conversations/exchanges. Here are a few of the highlights...

Conversation #1 - Last night, my cousin and I went to Bryant Park for the HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival. (They were showing Bride of Frankenstein.) At one point, I went to use the restroom. While waiting in the line for the ladies' room, there were two young women in line in front of me. I got the impression that they knew each other well, but had not seen each other in a while. They were catching up, chatting about graduate school, job prospects, living situations, a recent breakup, etc. They seemed like very smart, put together women, save for one tiny detail...their frequent use of the word "like." I'm not talking just 1-2 grammatically incorrect, modern slang uses of the word. It was incessant! If I had $1.00 for every time they used the word "like" before we made it to the bathroom stalls, I'd be on my way to the nearest shoe store as we speak!

Conversation #2 - While riding the subway home from the film festival, my cousin and I witnessed an adorable exchange between a young man and woman on the train, I'm guessing in their late teens/early 20s. The young woman spoke Spanish, and the young man's knowledge of the language was limited. However, he was making a valiant effort to sweep this girl off her feet. He stumbled through what little Spanish he knew and was aided by a friend of his, as well as the young woman's subway companion. I don't really know much Spanish, but it was obvious he was making a few mistakes, as their friends were laughing and the young girl giggled and blushed. Finally, he switched back to his native English and declared with gusto...

"I like long walks on the beach and Kool-Aid, and the occasional book...Goosebumps, A Cinderella Story..."

There wasn't a person near us on the train that wasn't sucked into the conversation at this point. It was quite funny and pretty darn adorable. Shortly after the Kool-Aid and Goosebumps reference, my cousin and I reached our subway stop. So, we never did find out if the young man scored a date.

Conversation #3 - Early Sunday evening, I was walking from the apartment to the Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine to attend an evensong service (an incredibly gorgeous service, but that's another story.) As I was heading west on 110th St., I was walking behind a young couple in the midst of a spirited, but friendly, argument about the lyrics to the Journey song, Don't Stop Believin'. The young man believed the lyric to be "streetlights, people", while the young woman insisted it was "streetlight people." Their conversation went something like this... (Imagine them half speaking/half singing the lyrics as they argue.)

Man: I'm telling you, it's "streetlights, people."

Woman: You're wrong. It's "streetlight people."

Man: You're crazy. That doesn't make any sense. What the hell are streetlight people anyway?

It made me giggle. I had to google the lyrics the next day. I was curious. Apparently, this isn't such an unusual debate. I visited a number of song lyric database websites and found both versions. So, I listened to the song on my iPod. (Yes, I do have some Journey on my iPod.) It really isn't 100% clear. I can see how different ears might hear it different ways. I think I have to side with the young woman. I think Steve Perry is singing "streetlight people." However, the question still remains...what the hell are streetlight people anyway?

My First Week is Over

2008-06-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Whew! It has been a crazy week. Not crazy in a bad way, just kind of "head spinny" and overwhelming. Between the first week of classes, still trying to get settled into my cousin's apartment (ordering an air mattress, shopping for a desk, figuring out where to buy groceries in my neighborhood, doing laundry etc.), and just plain old getting the "lay of the land", it has been a week full of adventure! I'm tuckered out. It's good though. I feel a lot more settled going into week two.

This past week.....

I took a couple dance classes at Broadway Dance Center. I took a basic tap class and a beginner jazz class. Both classes were a lot of fun. The jazz class was especially exhilarating. The instructor was incredible, and the class was quite a workout. (I haven't been in a dance class in more than 10 years. I'm a little rusty.) By the end of the jazz class, I was starting to feel almost like a dancer (and I stress the words starting and almost.) I'll get much better though. I'm determined to keep at it! Tap was also fun, but a little bit more overwhelming. It was hard to make my brain and my feet work that fast at the same time. Again, I just have to keep at it.

Acting class is amazing. I adore Suzanne! She is an incredible teacher. My acting partner is a young man from Holland. He is incredibly sweet, and we have a very good and open connection. Most of my class is great. There is really a lot of raw talent and potential in our group. We're having fun.

Voice & Speech is transformative, even after only two classes. I'll have to go into more detail later. One thing that my voice instructor said this week that really struck me (and this has nothing to do with technique, it was just an interesting observation that she made) is that New Yorkers sometimes use their voice to create space. I had never thought about it before, but in such a crowded place, people really can use other mechanisms to create a sort of space for themselves.

Movement will be my biggest challenge. I like the class and the instructor, and I think it will be very helpful for me. I just know myself. That class will be the hardest one in which to really let myself go and get out of my self-conscious head. More on that later as well.

So, what else is new? Nothing and a whole lot at the same time. Is that possible? I miss my husband, but we talk nearly every day, which is nice. I REALLY miss Cosmo and Harley (our dog and cat.) As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry...I can't chat with them on the phone or keep in touch the same way I can with the significant human beings in my life. Yet, our pets are kind of like our children...so it is killing me to be away from them.

Overall, life in the city is good. I hope week two finds me a little more centered and a little less blindly trying to make my way in the world.

Thank God the Indians have been winning in LA! That series in Colorado this week was downright dreadful!

My First Classes & Well Wishes from Home

2008-06-17T16:37:00.001-07:00

I made it through the first day of all my classes! Yesterday, I had Acting with Suzanne Esper. She is amazing, completely vibrant and full of life! She has a very nurturing quality, but firm at the same time. She seems like she will give us all the room explore, grow, and even fail if we need to...but she won't except anything less than us giving our best effort. I'm going to love studying with her!

Today, I had Voice and Speech and Movement. Voice and Speech was also really great, and I think I will like Movement more as the summer progresses. I was a little too in my head and self-conscious today. Once I am able to let that go and free myself up, I think I will get a lot more out of it.

Last night, I had an email from my sister-in-law. She was checking in to see how my first day of class went. She also wanted to send me pictures of the outfit that my niece was wearing yesterday. Eden is 5 months old. Isn't she just too adorable? Jeremy and I picked out the NY onesie for her on a trip to the city earlier this year. Notice what the bib says in the first picture!

Father's Day in New York

2008-06-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I called my dad on the phone today. This will be the first year in a long time that I did not see my dad in person on Father's Day (or at least very close to Father's Day.) I miss him. Hope he had a good day. He told me a little bit about his car troubles, what's been happening with the waitresses at his local watering hole...the Bob Evans across from his apartment, and then we commiserated about the Indians for a bit. We both would have liked to see Cliff Lee get his 11th win yesterday.

Later on, my cousin and I ventured downtown for the Egg Roll and Egg Cream Festival. A portion of Eldridge was blocked off. There was entertainment on the street and the aforementioned egg rolls and egg creams. (I liked the egg roll, but I could have done without the egg cream. Mine had a certain Milk of Magnesia quality to it.) On our way down the street toward the festivities, we passed a school that had left a large amount of garbage on the sidewalk...text books, old desks, workbooks, etc. My cousin noticed many old-school, pull-down wall maps and diagrams, and she had to go through them. She giggled with delight as she chose three of them to bring back and hang up in the apartment. One was a map of Africa. One was a map of the United States. The last of her finds was a full diagram of the digestive system. We about lost it with laughter! We hung it up in the kitchen this evening.

The highlight of my day (aside from chatting with my dad) was seeing a man on the subway wearing an Ohio State football tee shirt with a picture of the obligatory Coach Jim Tressel sweater vest. The tee shirt read "Fear the Vest." I couldn't resist. I let out an "O-H!" He replied "I-O" and threw in a "Go Bucks!" I LOVED IT! I then told him that my husband was a Buckeye, and I attended Youngstown State University during Coach Tressel's winning tenure there. He agreed that Tressel was the man. That made my day. It didn't top my Saturday by any means, but it made me feel at home away from home.

Enjoy the pictures of my cousin and others digging through the school trash on the sidewalk and the photo of her hanging the digestive tract in our kitchen. We think it will help us stick to our diets. :)

I Met Robert Cuccioli!

2008-06-15T05:10:00.001-07:00

Oh my God! I still can't believe it actually happened. I finally got the chance to meet one of my heroes, almost 13 years after first seeing him perform in the pre-Broadway tour of Jekyll & Hyde. (1995. I was in college, and my friends and I were able to catch the show in both Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Wow, has it really been that long ago?) I remember being completely enthralled, and I was a fan instantly. The voice, the stage presence, the total immersion in the role. He has this real truthful and human quality to his acting, and yet it's larger than life at the same time. He can fill a room and make you take notice, and something about it seems effortless. To the audience (or at least me anyway), it never feels like he's reaching too far or trying too hard. On my best day, I don't know if I would ever have that kind of presence. (I'm dedicated and open, sing very well, and have an emotional vulnerability and quirky charm that I bring to the table...but he totally rocks my socks off!)

My only prior stage door experience was one of people pushing and shoving to catch a glimpse of Kevin Spacey after a matinee of The Iceman Cometh in 1999. While the performance was breathtaking and well worth the $100 ticket price, the experience out on the street left me feeling empty. That really isn't the kind of fan that I am or the type of encounter I would want. I could care less about an autograph or a picture. I would really rather have a moment to shake someone's hand and tell them how much I appreciate their work. With the artists whose work I most admire, what I'd REALLY love is the chance to sit down and have a cup of coffee with them, hear their stories and pick their brain about how and why it is that they do what they do, but I realize that's dreaming big. (i.e., Robert Cuccioli, Sarah McLachlan, Maya Angelou, Ryan Adams, Audrey Hepburn...okay, so I know that one is never going to happen.)

I've also never really been a fan club person before. Well, there's always the Kiss Army, but that is an all together different phenomenon. However, I decided to join the Robert Cuccioli Fan Club late last year, because his work has had a profound influence on me, and because he seems to genuinely appreciate the support of his fans. Joining the fan club led to me corresponding with the fan club president, Gay Dupre, from time to time...which leads me to the good part of this story.

My cousin and I took the train from Penn Station to Madison, NJ yesterday to see Amadeus at The Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey, in which Mr. Cuccioli was starring as Salieri. In emailing with Gay Dupre, we discovered that we were both going to be attending the same performance. She approached me and my cousin during intermission, and we chatted for a bit. She told me that she didn't think Bob was going to come out between the matinee and evening performance that day, but that if we were ever at the same performance of a future production, she'd try to make sure I had a chance to meet him. I felt deflated, but as I watched the second act, I decided that after 13 years, I'd regret it for a really long time if I didn't take the chance and put myself out there. So, after the curtain call, I approached Gay. With my knees and hands shaking, I asked her if she wouldn't mind asking him if he would come out just for a moment or two. If he said "no", I would totally understand and respect that, but I couldn't leave that theater without at least asking.

So, I went downstairs with Gay and her husband. I waited in the hallway by the restrooms and a coat rack, while they went back stage. The longer I waited, the more optimistic I became. If he wasn't going to come out, Gay's husband, Alan, would have come out right away to tell me that, right? Finally, the backstage door opened, and there was Robert Cuccioli! He, Gay, and Alan came out into the hallway, and I had the opportunity to talk to him for a few minutes. I won't even go into all the things we chatted about, because that could be another long blog entry on it's own. (The next time you see me, just ask me about it.) I will say that it was a great experience for me. He was very gracious and down-to-earth and charming. He seemed genuinely humbled and appreciative when I told him how much his work inspires me. I will also share that I did tell him he was on my "Bucket List."

Those of you who know me well have heard about my Bucket List. There are the easy goals on my list, like visiting Graceland. There are the completely silly and dorky goals, like running up the Philadelphia museum steps like Rocky or running in the Sugardale Hot Dog Derby at a Cleveland Indians game. (I want to be Onion. She carries a purse.) Then, there are the big four.

4. I want to have a conversation with Maya Angelou. (During some of my lowest moments, the poem "Phenomenal Woman" has lifted me up.)

3. I want to sing with Sarah McLachlan. (Like Maya Angelou, her music has seen me through some difficult times...and her concerts are almost like religious experiences for me.)

2. More than any other actor or actress out there, I want to work with Robert Cuccioli. (See above.)

1. I want to kiss John Cusack! I have to experience it...just once before I meet my demise.

You know, on my train ride home yesterday, I pondered whether or not Robert Cuccioli might bump John Cusack out of the #1 crush spot. I thought about it for a minute. Jekyll & Hyde or Say Anything...Phantom, Jacques Brel, Guys & Dolls or Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity..."This is the Moment" or "She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen." John is still #1 as far as weak-in-the-knees celebrity crushes go, but I do adore Bob. I'd still rather work with him than anyone else on the planet, and I'd love to have that cup of coffee with him and pick his brain. (I know, I know...but where's the fun in life if you can't dream?)

I didn't have a camera to capture the moment yesterday. (See above.) However, I feel this story really deserves an image. So, I am going to leave you with a picture of one of my favorite Cleveland Indians, Victor Martinez. This face pretty much sums up how I felt when I left the theater yesterday. I think Victor has the best celebratory facial expressions in baseball! (I'm sad to see him on the disabled list and I wish him a speedy recovery. I want to see him play again when I come home from New York.) Enjoy!

I have arrived in NYC

2008-06-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

After my very first Amtrak experience, I am finally in New York City for my summer adventure. The train ride was pretty cool. I had breakfast and lunch in the dining car and met some really interesting people. It's a very social atmosphere on a long-distance train trip, much different from a plane ride or a commuter train. My seat mate was a student from Russia who lives in NYC, and he was fun to chat with. I slept a good bit too. I had taken some Dramamine so I could read and use my laptop without getting motion sickness...but mostly it just made me very drowsy (as Dramamine does.)

I got into Penn Station around 8:00 last night, and my cousin met me. We schlepped my luggage on the subway to her apartment on 3rd Ave. Then, we went for a yummy Mexican dinner and margaritas. After that, I was ready to crash.

Today, I started unpacking my clothes, and I went grocery shopping. Now, I am sitting in my cousin's apartment waiting for a UPS package. (Exciting way to start my time in the Big Apple huh?) As I was walking back from my grocery shopping, I passed a little deli near the apartment. The front door was open, and there was a little kitty sitting in the doorway, watching people walk by. He/She (I didn't stop to check) was so adorable, and it made me miss my cat Harley something fierce. Wish I could have brought him with me. And yes...I am going to miss my husband very much as well, but at least he and I can talk on the phone or email. Aside from the obvious fact that Harley cannot use a cell phone or computer, he would probably only take the time to chat with me when it suited him. Cats!

Where can a girl watch an Indians game in New York?

2008-06-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

That is the question of the day. If I don't find a solution, it is going to be a long six weeks. Most of the games are broadcast on a cable channel called STO (Sports Time Ohio), obviously not a channel that can be accessed from my cousin's Manhattan apartment. I could pay MLB.com a somewhat crazy sum of money to watch the games on my laptop, but where's the fun in that? My cousin's roomate assured me there had to be someplace in New York where I could go to watch the games...some bar owned by a former Clevelander or whatnot. She says you can find just about anything in New York. I'm inclined to think that is probably true. Jeremy and I have a friend who works for the Cleveland Indians, and he was supposed to be asking around the organization to find out if there was a Cleveland fan-friendly place to go. However, I have not heard back from him. I'm sure it has been a busy spring for him. All Jacob's Field references at the ballpark had to be replaced with new Progressive Field logos, etc. before the all-star break this year, and it is pretty much our friend's responsibility to make that happen. (Don't even get me started...it will always be "The Jake" to me!) Perhaps I just need to bug him again before I leave for the Big Apple. I'd much rather watch a couple ball games in a bar, around other people, eating greasy food and wearing my Indians gear than all alone on my little Dell laptop. Not the most exciting way to cheer on my favorites...Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez & Casey Blake.

At any rate, the Indians beat the Texas Rangers last night 13-9. It was a nice change, compared to how they have been playing lately (offensively anyway.) Casey Blake was on FIRE last night! Seven RBIs in three at bats...two of them 2-run homers! It was a thing of beauty!

Crocs and the City

2008-06-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

So, the very first time I saw Crocs in the store, in all their splendor and variety of colors, I thought to myself, "What cute gardening shoes!" When I saw people actually wearing them out and about, I thought, "Wait a minute." Now, I'm not one to judge. Live and let live. They're obviously comfortable shoes, practical, and the multitude of colors allow for individuality, expression, etc. However, being the shoe lover (and admitted girly girl) that I am, I swore there would never be a place in my shoe closet for a pair of Crocs. Then...I saw a pair that caught my eye. I was in Macy's, and there they were. Little silver Crocs in a different style than the ever-popular clog. They were more like a cross between a ballet flat and a slingback. Round toe. Smaller, fitted to the foot, less bulky silhouette. They were (dare I say it) very cute! I tried them on, and I was sold. (Well, not immediately. They didn't have the silver color in my size, so I had to go home and order them online.) A cute AND comfortable shoe is going to come in handy in the coming weeks.

Which brings me to my next topic. I am heading off to New York City for six weeks this summer. I have not been in an acting class since college. I've attended some workshops here and there. I've studied voice-over technique, the art of cabaret, but I have not been in an intense, risk-taking, dig in and get dirty acting class for a while. I decided it was time for a challenge. So, I am taking part in the six-week summer intensive at the William Esper Studio. I will be in classes 5 days a week, acting, movement, voice & speech. I am also looking to take some dance classes while I am in the city. (Might as well make the most of my summer in the Big Apple!) I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. It will be an experience...and an adventure...and it will be nice to schlep around Manhattan in my new comfy (and adorable) Crocs. Who knew?

BTW...lest those of you who know me well start to worry. I will also be taking one or two pairs of my less practical, but incredibly fabulous shoes!

The Beginning

2008-05-31T14:43:00.001-07:00

Not really the absolute beginning...seeing as I have been around for a few years. (Not long enough to remember when Kennedy was shot, but long enough to remember actual music videos on MTV.) However, this is the beginning of my attempt to blog, not counting myspace.

Life seems full of changes and adventure lately, and I thought this would be a nice way to keep family and friends updated...especially since I will be spending some time away from home in the coming weeks. More on all that later. My head is too full at the moment, and I have to be at the theater before too long. (You know what they say...the show must go on!)

P.S. In case any of you were wondering, my blog title does not stem from an overly inflated opinion of myself. (Though I admit, I can be quite delightful on a good day.) It's more of an expression of what I want out of life.